So tonight I saw a classmate's post on Facebook that was poking fun of people who believe in creationism over evolution. Normally I just ignore these posts and don't look at them with a second thought or let them bother me but tonight it made me think of a few times that I have been offended due to my faith while in college. Now I'm not overly uptight or easily offended, I like all forms of humor and I poke fun at myself often. There are however, things that make me uncomfortable. I once had a professor, don't get me wrong he was a great professor, but he was very clearly anti-christian. When I say anti-christian I am not just talking about him being an atheist I'm talking about how he discussed Christianity.
When he was in class and he would talk about the subject of Christianity he often made subtle jokes about how ridiculous it was to believe in something like that and how obvious it was that Christians must be wrong because of all of the scientific evidence around them. This bothered me for several reasons. The main problem was that he was generalizing the way Christians act and think and the other major issue was that he was pushing his personal beliefs and mocking the beliefs of others openly in a learning environment. As a Christian I do believe in creation. This doesn't mean that I don't believe in science or evolution. I believe that God created everything and due to that he could use science and evolution to make the world work and change. I don't look at blatant evidence of something and say "this is wrong because it isn't in the bible." There's a lot of modern things, theories and facts that aren't in the bible but I know that it said God created everything so therefore I believe he made science and evolution. It really offended me that this professor said Christians were idiots for not believing in it, and I openly let him know what I thought.
Another problem was that I felt extremely uncomfortable in his class because he mocked my faith on a weekly basis, not directly or to me personally but in the comments he made during the lecture. This is a huge problem for students of any faith in any college setting today. Many professors and college students openly condemn faith based thinking because they think that science and the world has given them all of the answers and that people of any faith are idiots for believing in a higher power. I have heard many derogatory and hurtful remarks come from those who don't share my faith but it has become much worse since I've been in college. My theory on this is that people become college students or professors and start assuming that they have all of the answers and if you don't agree with them than you are wrong.
I would like to see this change. It made it so much harder for me to sit and learn in a class where my faith was mocked. On top of that, personal religious leanings are supposed to be kept out of the classroom, that includes not making fun of any religion openly in your class. My message to professors and students alike that think like this professor is a simple one: Not all Christians are stupid. Not all Christians are bigots who persecute non-Christians. Not all Christians try to shove their views into your classrooms. Stop generalizing and accusing Christians every time a small minority of them does something to aggravate you. We aren't all the same, just like any other group. Also, stop to think about the jokes you are making about other people's faith, especially when someone that practices it may be in your classroom trying to learn comfortably. I'm not trying to have anything forced into your curriculum or dissing your belief system, so I suggest you show me the same courtesy.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
When is Enough, Enough?
Today I'm going to post about something that has stuck with me and has been upsetting me for several days now. Due to this dealing with personal problems I will not be naming names or referencing specific people or naming my relationship to any parties involved, except for myself because it is obvious that I was involved. I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to plot out a course for what I want to do in the next five years to set up the rest of my life. I've been working my butt off and have been trying to balance family life and time with people outside of school and work with my academic life. It has been really hard for me to do this so when I get to visit somebody outside of Hollins I get very excited about it and look forward to spending time with whoever it is.
Last week I had an opportunity to take some time away from campus and spend time with two people who are very important to me. As I said earlier I will not reveal anything about them but I will be referring to them as John and Jane. These two people have done a lot for me in my life and I enjoy going to visit them when I'm not too busy with school. I have always tried to show them my appreciation for them and the respect that I feel for them. I've always been closer to Jane however because as much as John does for me I always feel like he holds it over my head. To add to this feeling John always looks for someone to do something to make them mad. They have always been naturally headstrong and confrontational. Sometimes this is a good thing. They will stick up for someone or defend them if needed and they can get important points across to people who won't listen to someone else.
More times than not though John doesn't know when it's time to stop being confrontational. This has caused problems with us as well as with him and Jane. We still care about and love him very much but that has never stopped him from being confrontational and sometimes just cruel. Last week as Jane and I were conversing about one of my friends over a meal it was mentioned that my friend who is a woman is married to another woman. Jane and I were not debating my friends marriage I was just telling her a funny story about my friend and her wife. John piped up during this story and said "They aren't married." When I disagreed he went into a rant about what he thinks God would have to say about this.
Jane and I tried to defuse the situation by saying we didn't want to argue over gay marriage we were just talking and he only kept going. It came to the point where he was talking as if my friend was not a human being. I told him to stop that it was upsetting me and I didn't want to hear it but he kept going. We ended up in a shouting match and then he told me to leave his house and that he didn't want anything to do with me. I was more than happy to leave at this point. It upsets me when anyone bullies someone for being different, even if they aren't there to hear it and it upsets me even more when somebody thinks that they can speak for God, especially when they are spewing hate speech. God would not spew hate speech.
This has been a recurring theme with John and I since I've known him, most of the time though he just targets me and not my friends, and now I'm wondering if I'll ever move past this. I've had enough. I cannot keep associating with someone who wants to constantly argue with me, belittle me and treat me like I am beneath them because of my income and gender. At this point while I am grateful for all that they have done for me I can no longer allow myself to be mistreated and waste the little free time I have being treated this way. It's never easy to realize that someone you care about may never change their ways but it's also important to realize that you need to take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect. For me that includes distancing myself away from people who treat me like I'm a subhuman creature and make me feel like I should hate myself. That being said I will never hate John but until they can actually act like they return my feelings of respect and care I have to stay away from them and take a step back from the situations involving them.
It's important to realize when enough is enough and when you shouldn't keep falling for the same apologies when someone is just going to go back to being cruel to you. You need to remember that you're important too and deserve respect even if someone has helped you out in the past. You cannot allow yourself to be mistreated and you have the right to stick up for yourself. Everyone needs to remember that when dealing with someone that repeats habitual behaviors that hurt you.
Last week I had an opportunity to take some time away from campus and spend time with two people who are very important to me. As I said earlier I will not reveal anything about them but I will be referring to them as John and Jane. These two people have done a lot for me in my life and I enjoy going to visit them when I'm not too busy with school. I have always tried to show them my appreciation for them and the respect that I feel for them. I've always been closer to Jane however because as much as John does for me I always feel like he holds it over my head. To add to this feeling John always looks for someone to do something to make them mad. They have always been naturally headstrong and confrontational. Sometimes this is a good thing. They will stick up for someone or defend them if needed and they can get important points across to people who won't listen to someone else.
More times than not though John doesn't know when it's time to stop being confrontational. This has caused problems with us as well as with him and Jane. We still care about and love him very much but that has never stopped him from being confrontational and sometimes just cruel. Last week as Jane and I were conversing about one of my friends over a meal it was mentioned that my friend who is a woman is married to another woman. Jane and I were not debating my friends marriage I was just telling her a funny story about my friend and her wife. John piped up during this story and said "They aren't married." When I disagreed he went into a rant about what he thinks God would have to say about this.
Jane and I tried to defuse the situation by saying we didn't want to argue over gay marriage we were just talking and he only kept going. It came to the point where he was talking as if my friend was not a human being. I told him to stop that it was upsetting me and I didn't want to hear it but he kept going. We ended up in a shouting match and then he told me to leave his house and that he didn't want anything to do with me. I was more than happy to leave at this point. It upsets me when anyone bullies someone for being different, even if they aren't there to hear it and it upsets me even more when somebody thinks that they can speak for God, especially when they are spewing hate speech. God would not spew hate speech.
This has been a recurring theme with John and I since I've known him, most of the time though he just targets me and not my friends, and now I'm wondering if I'll ever move past this. I've had enough. I cannot keep associating with someone who wants to constantly argue with me, belittle me and treat me like I am beneath them because of my income and gender. At this point while I am grateful for all that they have done for me I can no longer allow myself to be mistreated and waste the little free time I have being treated this way. It's never easy to realize that someone you care about may never change their ways but it's also important to realize that you need to take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect. For me that includes distancing myself away from people who treat me like I'm a subhuman creature and make me feel like I should hate myself. That being said I will never hate John but until they can actually act like they return my feelings of respect and care I have to stay away from them and take a step back from the situations involving them.
It's important to realize when enough is enough and when you shouldn't keep falling for the same apologies when someone is just going to go back to being cruel to you. You need to remember that you're important too and deserve respect even if someone has helped you out in the past. You cannot allow yourself to be mistreated and you have the right to stick up for yourself. Everyone needs to remember that when dealing with someone that repeats habitual behaviors that hurt you.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Speaking English
In my Spanish class the other morning we somehow ended up talking about people who say "If you're in America then speak English." A lot of people in the class shook their heads or laughed at the statement and some commented on how racist it was. I started thinking about it and I began to wonder if it really is in fact a racist thing to say. I came to the conclusion that it depends on how you say it and what you mean when saying it. I hear people all of the time say that you shouldn't tell people immigrating to or working in the US that they have to learn English because that is telling them to forget their culture and that it's racist. I have to say that no it isn't. If somebody wants to live in a country it stands to reason that they should learn the language of said country. This applies to all countries, not just America.
If I wanted to move to France and live there I would in fact learn French. So why shouldn't I expect immigrants/workers who come to live in America to speak English? The only time I wouldn't expect this is if they suddenly had to flee their country. In that case they would have to learn English by immersion and it would be unreasonable to expect they know the language immediately. I'm not saying that all immigrants need to speak perfect English but they should at least know the basics. Also speaking English doesn't imply that they are giving up their culture. I've studied two foreign languages and have taken classes on international cultures and i haven't lost my American culture, I actually appreciate it more.
Of course people shouldn't go around picking on and pointing out everybody in a grocery store or public place that is speaking another language because that would be racist. What's the difference? Well the difference is that bullying people for having a private conversation in their native tongue is wrong. They have the right to talk to anybody in whatever language they want. The problem only arises if nobody around them can understand what they are saying when they need help or some type of service. It also would make understanding our laws and public regulations next to impossible so therefore they need to know how to speak English when living in an English speaking country. If somebody is vacationing it's cool if they don't know how to speak English but when living in a country it is necessary to know the native language. On top of this if you were to live in a country that was a Spanish speaking country and you refused to speak Spanish the people in that country would view you as disrespectful and entitled, and they would also be right. So when talking about immigrants or people on a working visa learning to speak English it is not in fact racist to say that they should learn English.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Abstinence: Education Vs. Ignorance
So today I read this article about how a teen got into trouble with her high school for protesting their abstinence only sex-ed program: Click here to read it.
This article reminded me very much of the type of education that I received in high school. My school had an abstinence only approach and in the eighth grade I distinctly remember a woman coming in telling us all to abstinent and then making every eighth grader in the audience sign an abstinence pledge. I've always thought that this approach was ridiculous. Not because I'm against abstinence and not because I think every high school student in the world is out having sex every second and I certainly don't advocate high school students having sexual relations.
However, I do realize that this is an unrealistic and ignorant approach to sex-ed. The school I went to had a very high pregnancy rate and I remember several of the girls I knew telling me that they had become pregnant because they didn't have access to birth control, didn't know anything about birth control or had taken birth control with their antibiotic thus causing it to fail. While yes, the only way to ensure 100% that you won't get pregnant is abstinence you cannot pretend that educating young women and men about birth control isn't positive.
Educating high school students about birth control is essential. My high school tried to make it sound like sex killed more people than old age and that only women were guilty if they had sex before marriage. At one point I remember them showing us a video where a man was given a pair of clean sneakers by his wife and told her how much he loved her. Then another couple was together and the wife gave her husband old worn out sneakers and he replied "Ew, it looks like the whole football team has been in this," and then the video said this is what will happen if you don't wait to have sex.
Why does this only target girls? Why can't men be like old worn out sneakers too? Furthermore why are you shaming these young girls? Other than the fact that this video was just cruel it was ignorant. The better approach would to have been to say what you do with your body is your choice and everyone should respect that, regardless of personal religious views. As I said earlier I don't advocate high school students having sex but there should still be education about birth control, how to get it and how to use it. It would prevent so many pregnancies and they would be further educated about how their bodies actually work instead of just being told "These are your no-no parts, only touch them and let them be touched while you are cleaning yourself."
This article reminded me very much of the type of education that I received in high school. My school had an abstinence only approach and in the eighth grade I distinctly remember a woman coming in telling us all to abstinent and then making every eighth grader in the audience sign an abstinence pledge. I've always thought that this approach was ridiculous. Not because I'm against abstinence and not because I think every high school student in the world is out having sex every second and I certainly don't advocate high school students having sexual relations.
However, I do realize that this is an unrealistic and ignorant approach to sex-ed. The school I went to had a very high pregnancy rate and I remember several of the girls I knew telling me that they had become pregnant because they didn't have access to birth control, didn't know anything about birth control or had taken birth control with their antibiotic thus causing it to fail. While yes, the only way to ensure 100% that you won't get pregnant is abstinence you cannot pretend that educating young women and men about birth control isn't positive.
Educating high school students about birth control is essential. My high school tried to make it sound like sex killed more people than old age and that only women were guilty if they had sex before marriage. At one point I remember them showing us a video where a man was given a pair of clean sneakers by his wife and told her how much he loved her. Then another couple was together and the wife gave her husband old worn out sneakers and he replied "Ew, it looks like the whole football team has been in this," and then the video said this is what will happen if you don't wait to have sex.
Why does this only target girls? Why can't men be like old worn out sneakers too? Furthermore why are you shaming these young girls? Other than the fact that this video was just cruel it was ignorant. The better approach would to have been to say what you do with your body is your choice and everyone should respect that, regardless of personal religious views. As I said earlier I don't advocate high school students having sex but there should still be education about birth control, how to get it and how to use it. It would prevent so many pregnancies and they would be further educated about how their bodies actually work instead of just being told "These are your no-no parts, only touch them and let them be touched while you are cleaning yourself."
Thursday, April 18, 2013
No Such Thing as Stupid
I'm sure we've all had moments in our life where we've had to instruct or teach someone and were completely frustrated by the experience. Maybe the person just wasn't listening to you or they weren't understanding you or you didn't know how to help them. While I'm not by any means a professional I have tutored children from time to time who have had trouble with reading or writing and sometimes both at the same time. I have had my share of frustrating days tutoring but it has taught me that most importantly there is no such thing as a stupid child.
What I mean by this is that children are never stupid, they are all highly intelligent and capable of learning no matter what handicaps they may have. Children learn as much as those around them are willing to teach. Do keep in mind that teaching comes through actual knowledge and effort working together, you can't just spoon information out into their heads. Children need you to be patient and to show them things more than once sometimes. You may wonder why I'm writing about this today and it is because I heard something truly appalling while trying to eat dinner in the cafeteria tonight. The girl and her friends at the table behind me (all clearly freshmen) were discussing a student's work. First off, you never discuss a student's work with your friends, that was her first mistake. The second mistake she made were far worse though. She proceeded to read the student's work out loud to them and emphasize all of their spelling errors She then loudly proclaimed, "See, he isn't dyslexic, he's just stupid."
I was completely shocked. How dare she call this poor child stupid. I mean, what kind of monster does that? Yes, I will call her a monster. I'm not someone that has ever been particularly maternal but making fun of a child that is giving you their trust and hoping you can help them is beyond wrong. From what I heard her reading the child clearly was dyslexic but that doesn't really matter. What matters is is that he is not stupid. Like I said earlier no child can be stupid. Children are incredibly smart when given the chance to learn and succeed no matter what may try to hold them back, even a disorder like dyslexia. This child should have, no he deserves, a tutor that will tell him he's smart and is willing to sit down and have the patience to work with him so he understands the words he's trying to form. He also needs someone that sees the beauty in what he has to write and who will encourage it, not mock it.
People like this girl do not deserve to be working with children. Being a tutor isn't the most glamorous job a college student can dream of but it is one of the most educational and rewarding. I hope that she sees this before she ruins this child's educational experience. What you teach children when they are young is retained for their whole lives. If they are taught that they are stupid they will always think they are and in some cases even act that way in their adult life because they have no sense of pride in their intelligence. Remember the next time you see a child struggling with their work to tell them that they're smart and that they can do it. Let them know that they are worth the effort, don't act like this girl and call them names like some arrogant douche with nothing better to do.
What I mean by this is that children are never stupid, they are all highly intelligent and capable of learning no matter what handicaps they may have. Children learn as much as those around them are willing to teach. Do keep in mind that teaching comes through actual knowledge and effort working together, you can't just spoon information out into their heads. Children need you to be patient and to show them things more than once sometimes. You may wonder why I'm writing about this today and it is because I heard something truly appalling while trying to eat dinner in the cafeteria tonight. The girl and her friends at the table behind me (all clearly freshmen) were discussing a student's work. First off, you never discuss a student's work with your friends, that was her first mistake. The second mistake she made were far worse though. She proceeded to read the student's work out loud to them and emphasize all of their spelling errors She then loudly proclaimed, "See, he isn't dyslexic, he's just stupid."
I was completely shocked. How dare she call this poor child stupid. I mean, what kind of monster does that? Yes, I will call her a monster. I'm not someone that has ever been particularly maternal but making fun of a child that is giving you their trust and hoping you can help them is beyond wrong. From what I heard her reading the child clearly was dyslexic but that doesn't really matter. What matters is is that he is not stupid. Like I said earlier no child can be stupid. Children are incredibly smart when given the chance to learn and succeed no matter what may try to hold them back, even a disorder like dyslexia. This child should have, no he deserves, a tutor that will tell him he's smart and is willing to sit down and have the patience to work with him so he understands the words he's trying to form. He also needs someone that sees the beauty in what he has to write and who will encourage it, not mock it.
People like this girl do not deserve to be working with children. Being a tutor isn't the most glamorous job a college student can dream of but it is one of the most educational and rewarding. I hope that she sees this before she ruins this child's educational experience. What you teach children when they are young is retained for their whole lives. If they are taught that they are stupid they will always think they are and in some cases even act that way in their adult life because they have no sense of pride in their intelligence. Remember the next time you see a child struggling with their work to tell them that they're smart and that they can do it. Let them know that they are worth the effort, don't act like this girl and call them names like some arrogant douche with nothing better to do.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Public Anxiety
Today I made the decision to put one of my student shorts in a public viewing film festival at a local theater. This is the first time that my work will be shown outside of my college with me sitting there watching the audience's reaction. I've always been terrified of large amounts of attention on anything I do. I've always been the person that gets all sweaty and pale when they have to be in front of a group of people or show their work to someone. I even completely freak out when a potential employer calls me on the phone. I start pacing and panicking because I have public anxiety problems. While I won't be getting up to speak or answer questions about my film I'm still completely terrified.
I know that I tried my hardest with my film and that my professor really liked it and so has everyone else that has seen it but that isn't how I look at it. Every single time I watch my own work I notice every tiny flaw and think to myself how awful it is and that THAT is what the audience will see. So even when I have no attention focused on me personally I still freak out. That's also part of the reason why I force myself to take classes and do projects that I will have to do some form of exhibition in. I know that I need to get over my anxiety. In the line of work I want to go into it is beyond essential that other people see my work, even before it will be finished and perfected in some cases; so I have to teach myself to get over it now. Unfortunately that will involve several episodes of panicking and hating my work and myself before that is accomplished.
In the spirit of still trying to learn to get over my public anxiety however I have decided to watch my piece on the big screen Saturday and force myself to make internal compliments on at least three things. I don't know whether or not this will actually do anything for me or help me accomplish anything but I'm going to at least try. That's what is important after all, isn't it? The effort we put forward into making ourselves better and how sincere we are in that effort. It isn't about being perfect or never feeling public anxiety again, it's just about trying my hardest and working to get past my issues.
I know that I tried my hardest with my film and that my professor really liked it and so has everyone else that has seen it but that isn't how I look at it. Every single time I watch my own work I notice every tiny flaw and think to myself how awful it is and that THAT is what the audience will see. So even when I have no attention focused on me personally I still freak out. That's also part of the reason why I force myself to take classes and do projects that I will have to do some form of exhibition in. I know that I need to get over my anxiety. In the line of work I want to go into it is beyond essential that other people see my work, even before it will be finished and perfected in some cases; so I have to teach myself to get over it now. Unfortunately that will involve several episodes of panicking and hating my work and myself before that is accomplished.
In the spirit of still trying to learn to get over my public anxiety however I have decided to watch my piece on the big screen Saturday and force myself to make internal compliments on at least three things. I don't know whether or not this will actually do anything for me or help me accomplish anything but I'm going to at least try. That's what is important after all, isn't it? The effort we put forward into making ourselves better and how sincere we are in that effort. It isn't about being perfect or never feeling public anxiety again, it's just about trying my hardest and working to get past my issues.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
It's Not Polite to Stare
So as many people who read my blog are aware I attend an all girls undergraduate college. Being part of an all women's community has several advantages such as being able to go braless in my building when walking to the kitchen, not feeling pressured to look my best everyday in class and not worrying about how my peers will react to me if I voice my woman's perspective on any issues brought up. However this type of environment ,like any, has it's share of downsides. I'm not going to complain and focus on all of them today but I would like to talk about one that I have come to refer to as the "Rooster in the hen house" effect. Or simply girls freaking out whenever they see a boy somewhere they didn't expect to.
Now I call it the "rooster in the hen house effect" because of a TV show I watched in which a man dressed as a woman was found to be a man and all of the women started screaming "there's a rooster in the hen house" to alert everyone. The "rooster in the hen house" effect at Hollins doesn't involve screaming and running away but it involves casting glances at, staring and sometimes even whispering when a man is spotted in the dorms or cafeteria. Now I'm not saying that everyone does this because I have plenty of friends on campus who have never done this but I noticed it happening a lot more than usual the last time I brought my boyfriend to visit. Every time he's visited Hollins to see me he always says he feels like an alien because everybody watches him like he's going to explode. I never noticed it until the other night.
After we had been on a movie date to see the remake of Evil Dead I had to participate in the housing lottery and he came with me to have some extra time together after our date. Upon sitting down in the cafeteria he began asking me why the girls at the table across from us kept pointing at him and whispering. My reply was "You're hot, that's why," thinking it was only a one time incident. Then I noticed it kept happening and it wasn't as if my peers were trying to hide it, we could even hear what some of them were saying. Hollins has, to it's benefit, an unusually high acceptance of various peoples so I was truly shocked when this was happening. They pointed and whispered and stared at my boyfriend like he had five heads making him very uncomfortable.
While I have never experienced the problem this badly before I would like to inform everyone that it is indeed very rude to stare. It makes it even worse when the person already feels like a foreign entity. While again, a lot of women at Hollins do not do this I would like to make it known that when a man visits campus he shouldn't be made to feel like an outsider. He shouldn't have to worry about being stared at or talked about just because he's the only man in the room. On that note, I would also like to thank the women around us who greeted him and said hello and actually acted as if they had some sense. I know they're aren't a lot of men running around campus but I hope in the future that my peers act a little bit more mature about it next time.
Now I call it the "rooster in the hen house effect" because of a TV show I watched in which a man dressed as a woman was found to be a man and all of the women started screaming "there's a rooster in the hen house" to alert everyone. The "rooster in the hen house" effect at Hollins doesn't involve screaming and running away but it involves casting glances at, staring and sometimes even whispering when a man is spotted in the dorms or cafeteria. Now I'm not saying that everyone does this because I have plenty of friends on campus who have never done this but I noticed it happening a lot more than usual the last time I brought my boyfriend to visit. Every time he's visited Hollins to see me he always says he feels like an alien because everybody watches him like he's going to explode. I never noticed it until the other night.
After we had been on a movie date to see the remake of Evil Dead I had to participate in the housing lottery and he came with me to have some extra time together after our date. Upon sitting down in the cafeteria he began asking me why the girls at the table across from us kept pointing at him and whispering. My reply was "You're hot, that's why," thinking it was only a one time incident. Then I noticed it kept happening and it wasn't as if my peers were trying to hide it, we could even hear what some of them were saying. Hollins has, to it's benefit, an unusually high acceptance of various peoples so I was truly shocked when this was happening. They pointed and whispered and stared at my boyfriend like he had five heads making him very uncomfortable.
While I have never experienced the problem this badly before I would like to inform everyone that it is indeed very rude to stare. It makes it even worse when the person already feels like a foreign entity. While again, a lot of women at Hollins do not do this I would like to make it known that when a man visits campus he shouldn't be made to feel like an outsider. He shouldn't have to worry about being stared at or talked about just because he's the only man in the room. On that note, I would also like to thank the women around us who greeted him and said hello and actually acted as if they had some sense. I know they're aren't a lot of men running around campus but I hope in the future that my peers act a little bit more mature about it next time.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Young Marriage
So I'm typing up this post tonight because I've noticed that a lot of people that graduated with me or a year before me are suddenly getting married. A select few of my former classmates are extremely happy and a have a great family unit, but then there's the others...
I've noticed that some of them have been on facebook less than a year after their marriage began announcing a divorce or saying how much they hate their spouses or they're constantly threatening their spouse with divorce over facebook. Now there are several problems with this, other than the obnoxious posting of drama on the internet. Most of the problem is that these people are not ready to get married. The ones that I mentioned that are doing well were ready. Now what's the difference? Maturity.
Most people that get married right after high school don't get that marriage isn't dating. You can't just say it's over after a fight and be done with it. You have to work really hard to make it work and to work through any problems that come up. You shouldn't be just jumping onto to the marriage train because you can and because it sounds like it'll make your life better. You need to know yourself and your potential spouse and the last time I checked, when you graduate high school you're just discovering yourself. Why do you think so many college students break up with long-term boyfriends/girlfriends after their first couple of years at school? It's because you change after high school.
A vast majority of recent high school graduates aren't ready for marriage and those that are, they are far and few between. So if you're about to graduate high school or have graduated recently, stop and really think about what you want in life if you're thinking about getting married. If somebody really and truly wants to be with you and stay for the rest of their life (contrary to modern beliefs and actions it is supposed to be a lifetime commitment) then they will wait until you are sure you're ready. Getting married doesn't make you an adult, being smart enough to know yourself and make good decisions and sticking to commitments does.
I've noticed that some of them have been on facebook less than a year after their marriage began announcing a divorce or saying how much they hate their spouses or they're constantly threatening their spouse with divorce over facebook. Now there are several problems with this, other than the obnoxious posting of drama on the internet. Most of the problem is that these people are not ready to get married. The ones that I mentioned that are doing well were ready. Now what's the difference? Maturity.
Most people that get married right after high school don't get that marriage isn't dating. You can't just say it's over after a fight and be done with it. You have to work really hard to make it work and to work through any problems that come up. You shouldn't be just jumping onto to the marriage train because you can and because it sounds like it'll make your life better. You need to know yourself and your potential spouse and the last time I checked, when you graduate high school you're just discovering yourself. Why do you think so many college students break up with long-term boyfriends/girlfriends after their first couple of years at school? It's because you change after high school.
A vast majority of recent high school graduates aren't ready for marriage and those that are, they are far and few between. So if you're about to graduate high school or have graduated recently, stop and really think about what you want in life if you're thinking about getting married. If somebody really and truly wants to be with you and stay for the rest of their life (contrary to modern beliefs and actions it is supposed to be a lifetime commitment) then they will wait until you are sure you're ready. Getting married doesn't make you an adult, being smart enough to know yourself and make good decisions and sticking to commitments does.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Summer Jobs are like Unicorns
Summer Jobs are indeed like unicorns, meaning that in this economy they don't exist. I have been trying to find a job since I graduated from high school 2 years ago and other than my college work study that I do during the school year I have nothing. This means not one, not two, but three months without any money every year. Once again I have resumed my job search for the summer and once again I feel like I'm coming up empty handed. No matter how hard I try I get rejected or don't even hear back from the places I apply to. It isn't like I'm slacking off, I show up in person to get and return my applications, if it's an online application after I complete it I go to the store and talk to the manager and I make sure to call them every week after I turn it in.
It never works. It doesn't matter that I'm doing everything right and trying my hardest to get a job. People are always telling me to do the same things to get a job, (which are the things I just listed as doing) but for a college student that is competing with much older adults for jobs that used to be reserved for the youth of America I don't really stand a chance. I've come to the point that I'm so frustrated trying to find a job that I cry just thinking about it. Why do I get so upset about it? Well because I feel like a failure and a loser. Having a hard time in school doesn't make it any easier either. It's days like this that I wish I could magically win the lottery or the forever prize from Publisher's Clearing House.
I've become so tired of hearing people tell me that I can do it and that I can find a job for this summer that I could vomit. My frustrations about finding a job are a common problem among many people my age right now so there is that to comfort me but it still doesn't help much. Most of the reason that I'm so upset about not having a job yet is because I can't give my parents money on tuition. The fact is, my tuition is not getting any easier to pay. Every year that I've been at Hollins it has been raised and will probably continue to do so, and I want to help ease that burden on my parents. After all, it is MY education. I would also like to start saving up money to get out of the house the fall after I graduate from college but if I can't find a job that will be incredibly difficult. So until the point that I win the lottery I have to keep looking for a job and praying that the economy magically adds jobs for me in the next few weeks.
It never works. It doesn't matter that I'm doing everything right and trying my hardest to get a job. People are always telling me to do the same things to get a job, (which are the things I just listed as doing) but for a college student that is competing with much older adults for jobs that used to be reserved for the youth of America I don't really stand a chance. I've come to the point that I'm so frustrated trying to find a job that I cry just thinking about it. Why do I get so upset about it? Well because I feel like a failure and a loser. Having a hard time in school doesn't make it any easier either. It's days like this that I wish I could magically win the lottery or the forever prize from Publisher's Clearing House.
I've become so tired of hearing people tell me that I can do it and that I can find a job for this summer that I could vomit. My frustrations about finding a job are a common problem among many people my age right now so there is that to comfort me but it still doesn't help much. Most of the reason that I'm so upset about not having a job yet is because I can't give my parents money on tuition. The fact is, my tuition is not getting any easier to pay. Every year that I've been at Hollins it has been raised and will probably continue to do so, and I want to help ease that burden on my parents. After all, it is MY education. I would also like to start saving up money to get out of the house the fall after I graduate from college but if I can't find a job that will be incredibly difficult. So until the point that I win the lottery I have to keep looking for a job and praying that the economy magically adds jobs for me in the next few weeks.
Monday, April 1, 2013
History Months
So every year on April 1st Jack Douglass of JacksFilm posts a video called "White History Month" as an April fools joke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyn9cBvdlyU
While this video is lighthearted it also makes a point. People would crap their pants and cry "racism" if we had anything called "white history" as a public celebration. They also say in the video that "everyday is white history," making another point that the general public, and most white people, do not feel the need to celebrate a white history month. This got me thinking today about all of the other history months that are out there. Why do we celebrate them?
As many people know, women's history month just ended and to be honest, I never saw the point to it. Women's history month is supposed to bring attention to the need for gender equality and women's accomplishments; but if we truly want equality why give ourselves a whole month to set us apart and celebrate being women? If we had a "Men's history month" it would be negatively received in the same way a white history month would. It's like looking at a teammate/band mate/partner and saying "I think we are both just as cool but I'm always going to put myself in the spotlight over you because you made fun of me in the past." There is really no need for a women's history month because it should just be history. We need to put the discrimination and negativity behind us and move forward. Even Morgan Freeman has said he does not agree with black history month for the reason that black history should just be considered part of history (http://www.today.com/id/10482634/ns/today-entertainment/t/freeman-calls-black-history-month-ridiculous/#.UVnq6ZNwfGg).
The fact is, having a history month doesn't do anyone any good. Everybody's history should just be looked at as a part of humanity's history as a whole, it shouldn't be segregated and set apart to make a point. Personally celebrating your history is one thing but making it a national holiday? That's just ridiculous. So how about we get rid of all of the history months and just teach about everyone's history equally in school instead of a forced celebration.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyn9cBvdlyU
While this video is lighthearted it also makes a point. People would crap their pants and cry "racism" if we had anything called "white history" as a public celebration. They also say in the video that "everyday is white history," making another point that the general public, and most white people, do not feel the need to celebrate a white history month. This got me thinking today about all of the other history months that are out there. Why do we celebrate them?
As many people know, women's history month just ended and to be honest, I never saw the point to it. Women's history month is supposed to bring attention to the need for gender equality and women's accomplishments; but if we truly want equality why give ourselves a whole month to set us apart and celebrate being women? If we had a "Men's history month" it would be negatively received in the same way a white history month would. It's like looking at a teammate/band mate/partner and saying "I think we are both just as cool but I'm always going to put myself in the spotlight over you because you made fun of me in the past." There is really no need for a women's history month because it should just be history. We need to put the discrimination and negativity behind us and move forward. Even Morgan Freeman has said he does not agree with black history month for the reason that black history should just be considered part of history (http://www.today.com/id/10482634/ns/today-entertainment/t/freeman-calls-black-history-month-ridiculous/#.UVnq6ZNwfGg).
The fact is, having a history month doesn't do anyone any good. Everybody's history should just be looked at as a part of humanity's history as a whole, it shouldn't be segregated and set apart to make a point. Personally celebrating your history is one thing but making it a national holiday? That's just ridiculous. So how about we get rid of all of the history months and just teach about everyone's history equally in school instead of a forced celebration.
R E S P E C T Find Out What it Means
Today's post is about something that, as referenced in the title, Ms. Aretha Franklin sang about in a very famous song. In other words, it's about respect. While respect is literally spelled out in her song I feel that some people may need a different type of spelling out. It seems to me that many people in the world, myself included don't always respect each other. According to thefreedictionary.com respect is defined as follows:
1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3. To relate or refer to; concern.
Today I'm specifically talking about definition number 2. "To Avoid violation or interference with..." Respect is dwindling in the world, especially in my age group. People today seem to think that because of who they are or that they are an adult that they are entitled to do whatever they want and get whatever they want when they want it. The fact is this is simply not the case. People are not entitled to whatever they want when they want it and they cannot just do whatever they want. For an example of "to avoid violation" let's say Pauline and Regina are out seeing a movie. Regina cannot just take Pauline's cell phone and start going through it without asking because that violates Pauline's physical space and property. Likewise Pauline cannot start eating Regina's popcorn without asking because that violates Regina's space, property and in this case, the money she spent on said popcorn.
When people get an attitude of entitlement a lot of times they start ignoring the fact that they have to ask for permission. This especially happens between friends and with younger people. The second part of definition number two states "...Interference with..." Once again, let's say Regina and Pauline are hanging out together. This time Regina and Pauline are spending a week in a hotel for their job's annual conference. Pauline cannot stay up until 2 AM talking on the phone to her college roommate while Regina is trying to sleep because that interferes with something that is necessary to Regina, sleep. Likewise Regina cannot spend the late night or early morning hours making a lot of unnecessary noise while getting ready if Pauline is still asleep because this interferes with Pauline's sleep.
While these are all hypothetical situations they do demonstrate a point I'm trying to make. A lot of young people in later high school grades and in college do not pay attention to respecting their peers. They often act like they can do whatever they want just because of who they are and they forget that other people have rights and feelings as well. Young people need to start being more courteous to each other, such as asking permission NOT forgiveness and by being kind and remembering the magic words your parents taught you; "Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me" and "May I." They need to stop asking forgiveness instead of permission, owning up to their actions and just remembering common courtesy. It doesn't matter who you are, if you don't respect others it looks bad on you and eventually comes back to bite you.
1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3. To relate or refer to; concern.
Today I'm specifically talking about definition number 2. "To Avoid violation or interference with..." Respect is dwindling in the world, especially in my age group. People today seem to think that because of who they are or that they are an adult that they are entitled to do whatever they want and get whatever they want when they want it. The fact is this is simply not the case. People are not entitled to whatever they want when they want it and they cannot just do whatever they want. For an example of "to avoid violation" let's say Pauline and Regina are out seeing a movie. Regina cannot just take Pauline's cell phone and start going through it without asking because that violates Pauline's physical space and property. Likewise Pauline cannot start eating Regina's popcorn without asking because that violates Regina's space, property and in this case, the money she spent on said popcorn.
When people get an attitude of entitlement a lot of times they start ignoring the fact that they have to ask for permission. This especially happens between friends and with younger people. The second part of definition number two states "...Interference with..." Once again, let's say Regina and Pauline are hanging out together. This time Regina and Pauline are spending a week in a hotel for their job's annual conference. Pauline cannot stay up until 2 AM talking on the phone to her college roommate while Regina is trying to sleep because that interferes with something that is necessary to Regina, sleep. Likewise Regina cannot spend the late night or early morning hours making a lot of unnecessary noise while getting ready if Pauline is still asleep because this interferes with Pauline's sleep.
While these are all hypothetical situations they do demonstrate a point I'm trying to make. A lot of young people in later high school grades and in college do not pay attention to respecting their peers. They often act like they can do whatever they want just because of who they are and they forget that other people have rights and feelings as well. Young people need to start being more courteous to each other, such as asking permission NOT forgiveness and by being kind and remembering the magic words your parents taught you; "Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me" and "May I." They need to stop asking forgiveness instead of permission, owning up to their actions and just remembering common courtesy. It doesn't matter who you are, if you don't respect others it looks bad on you and eventually comes back to bite you.
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