Having Pets... And Lots of Them

As anybody who's been to my house knows I have and always have had many pets. I've had a lizard, rats, dogs, cats, fish, a hermit crab, horses and at one point my sister had a rabbit. As of right now we have four dogs, three cats, two horses and a rat. Two days ago the count was up by one and we had two rats. Unfortunately though, as everything and everyone does my rat Starsky passed away. I was so upset when I found him but I was also so relieved that he was just old and didn't get sick with cancer or tumors like so many rats his age do get.
Over many years I've seen several pets pass away and it never gets easier to say goodbye to them. Although it sucks I wouldn't have had it any other way. Pets to me are like an extension of the family and each pet that I've had has been special to me. While dealing with a pet's death is hard I'm glad that as a child that's something I experienced. My pets not only taught me love and responsibility but they also taught me the value of life and that it's OK to miss someone who's died and how to deal with death.
I went through the grieving process and learned how to handle it in a healthy way and I think that as I've grown up it's helped me deal with losing other loved ones. I've also noticed that even though it was extremely devastating the first time I realized a pet could die I'm glad that I learned about death from pets first because it prepared me for what I would feel when people I knew passed away. Losing my rat Starsky the other day was  a shock for me because other than typical aging he was healthy and didn't seem to be a pet that was only a few days away from his last breath. I know that he died healthy and happy though and that makes me feel better while I miss him. He was a good little buddy and I'll always miss having hm around but I know he's in a better place.

Gaming and Women

So I haven't posted much since I've been out of school but I've finally felt inspiration strike. Today I'll be posting on females in games. As many of my friends know I love to game. In fact, until my job starts that's most of what I've been doing since I got out of school for the summer. A lot of games get flack for having poor representations of women. This includes but is not limited to, women being overly sexual in appearance, not having any options for playable female characters and not having any strong female characters or only having females who need to be rescued.
In some cases I would agree that yes, there are problems with the representations of female characters in games but in others I think it's just feminists looking for something to get angry about. The main topic I'll cover is women being overly sexual in appearance. Some games that have been accused of this are games such as the Resident Evil series, The Mass Effect series and Tomb Raider. Of course this is a very short list compared to what is out there. I would just like to ask, why is this a problem? Feminists every where are constantly complaining that women aren't allowed to live freely as sexual beings but then when they see it they complain about women being objectified.
The fact is that yes, these games do have women with noticeable figures but these characters are also very strong female characters who kick some serious butt. They run around shooting up the bad guys and winning without a problem. In games like Mass Effect there are also several opportunities for female characters to shut up men that try to be chauvinists. I know that someone will say this so I'm going to go ahead and make this point before the argument is started. No, these games don't show main characters that are out of shape or larger. Why? Well because most of them are military women or incredibly athletic women that would be in shape if they were performing that way in real life, so it makes sense. I think women of different body types do have a place in gaming but in games depicting active and athletic or military women it wouldn't make that much sense for them to be out of shape.  Why is it a problem that they appear in-shape and good looking? According to feminist theory women should be able to be as sexual as they want and as strong as they want without being judged, so I would argue that the female characters in these games are embodying that ideal.
To me as long as the female characters can be just as strong as the men and they aren't in need of a romantic entanglement to get through their missions there isn't a problem. Honestly, I think that most people that do complain about the appearance of female characters in games (that are showing them as strong and reliable) need to get off of their high horse. There is nothing wrong with a strong woman having a figure and looking good; and if you say there is you are going against feminism.

Just Keep Swimming...

So today I have been so sick that at one point I thought I wouldn't make it out of bed. It's finals week, I'm stressed and I spent most of my day thinking I was going to die of the stomach flu. It's not a big secret that this school year in particular has been very stressful for me. I've finally reached the end of it with satisfactory grades (before my exams are factored in) a new job and a couple new friends. All I have to do is make it through this last exam and I. Am. Done. No more sophomore year. More importantly no more stress for two and a half glorious months.
It feels so good to know that I've made it through something even though it was really hard for me. I have never had so many panic attacks and breakdowns in my whole life as I have had this school year. But I did it. I had a lot of people who supported me and talked to me and listened to me complain about college but somehow I made it through. I even ended up making a short documentary and a short scene for my film major. I don't think I've ever felt this accomplished. I guess it's really paid off that, in the words of the great blue fish Dory, I "Just kept swimming." I still have some unresolved issues with my college, like the continuous rising cost of tuition and what we get for what we pay but I'll tackle those issues later.
Right now I'm just super excited that I only have one exam standing in the way of moving out for the summer.  It's going to be one of my hardest exams but even if I fail it I'll still have a B as my overall grade. I think that I've done pretty darn well for myself. I've also come to the conclusion that while my grades are important and that I need to keep them up my future employers only want to see that I passed and graduated from college. In other words I need to stop sweating the small stuff and if I get a B in a class, so what? I'm still an honors student and I'm still doing incredibly well.
Once I get home I'm going to eat a big bowl of non-cafeteria food, play some video games and play cards with my boyfriend and my brother. I won't have any stress from school, all I will have to concentrate on will be me and my summer job. All in all, this school year really sucked but it taught me a lot. You have to keep pushing on and dealing with your struggles because it's the best feeling in the world when you conquer them. I probably will have something else that stresses me my next two years in college but honestly, I think I've got this, because I'm me and I can do whatever I put my mind to.

You Too Can Be A Distraction

So last month I published a blog post about a school principal who ban strapless dresses at a school dance because they could possibly "make male students lose control of themselves." When I published this blog post I thought it was well written and well said but I had to take it down after only being up for a few hours. Why would I take a post down? Well because too many people were arguing on it and calling each other names and sending derogatory messages to each other and me so I decided that it was more hurtful than helpful and maybe it needed some review. I also had several people ask me why was I upset with the principal to begin with and what my point was. One male reader of my blog rightly pointed out to me that while there was an issue of equality in that particular dances dress code it's unfair to say that women should act like their clothing never distracts men. As much as I'll probably get chewed out by someone for this, he is right. Female clothing can unintentionally and intentionally distract men.
After talking to this reader and having a fairly long debate with him, and another male reader, I came to realize that maybe my stance was too harsh but I still feel that this principal shouldn't have phrased the statement the way she did. Female students and male students alike should have to follow a dress code and she shouldn't have claimed that female clothing controls the amount of control that male students have over themselves. The fact is they control their actions, even if a woman is wearing clothing that they view as sexy or revealing. Women can also be distracted by men's clothing and those who reveal their bodies in public. Why do you think so many women flocked to Magic Mike? Clothing and lack of clothing being sexy is a two way street and men should be held just as accountable for their dress as women are.
My main issue with what the principal said was that she shifted all of the blame for possible male student actions onto the female students, thus perpetuating the idea that women's looks and clothing are responsible for how men behave and think. Men and women alike will always notice when a member of the opposite sex looks attractive or sexy but that isn't in the other person's control. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; There were times in high school when I could have worn a parka and baggy pants and some boy would have still had sexual thoughts about me or made sexual remarks about how I was dressed. Men and women will always have different dress codes in school and public places because they ARE different physically but you cannot target one over the other. You cannot tell men that they can be shirtless and in shorts all of the time and its OK when you'll turn around and call a woman a slut for wearing a midriff bearing shirt and shorts. I pay attention to shirtless men all of the time, but nobody would ever tell a man "Put on a shirt, you may distract the women and they'd lose control of themselves."

I hope now that I have stated my point better and that this post is absent of any confusion on why I was upset with this principal to begin with and that their will be debates rather than arguments and name calling.

That Offended Me

So tonight I saw a classmate's post on Facebook that was poking fun of people who believe in creationism over evolution. Normally I just ignore these posts and don't look at them with a second thought or let them bother me but tonight it made me think of a few times that I have been offended due to my faith while in college. Now I'm not overly uptight or easily offended, I like all forms of humor and I poke fun at myself often. There are however, things that make me uncomfortable. I once had a professor, don't get me wrong he was a great professor, but he was very clearly anti-christian. When I say anti-christian I am not just talking about him being an atheist I'm talking about how he discussed Christianity.
When he was in class and he would talk about the subject of Christianity he often made subtle jokes about how ridiculous it was to believe in something like that and how obvious it was that Christians must be wrong because of all of the scientific evidence around them. This bothered me for several reasons. The main problem was that he was generalizing the way Christians act and think and the other major issue was that he was pushing his personal beliefs and mocking the beliefs of others openly in a learning environment. As a Christian I do believe in creation. This doesn't mean that I don't believe in science or evolution. I believe that God created everything and due to that he could use science and evolution to make the world work and change. I don't look at blatant evidence of something and say "this is wrong because it isn't in the bible." There's a lot of modern things, theories and facts that aren't in the bible but I know that it said God created everything so therefore I believe he made science and evolution. It really offended me that this professor said Christians were idiots for not believing in it, and I openly let him know what I thought.
Another problem was that I felt extremely uncomfortable in his class because he mocked my faith on a weekly basis, not directly or to me personally but in the comments he made during the lecture. This is a huge problem for students of any faith in any college setting today. Many professors and college students openly condemn faith based thinking because they think that science and the world has given them all of the answers and that people of any faith are idiots for believing in a higher power. I have heard many derogatory and hurtful remarks come from those who don't share my faith but it has become much worse since I've been in college. My theory on this is that people become college students or professors and start assuming that they have all of the answers and if you don't agree with them than you are wrong.
 I would like to see this change. It made it so much harder for me to sit and learn in a class where my faith was mocked. On top of that, personal religious leanings are supposed to be kept out of the classroom, that includes not making fun of any religion openly in your class. My message to professors and students alike that think like this professor is a simple one: Not all Christians are stupid. Not all Christians are bigots who persecute non-Christians. Not all Christians try to shove their views into your classrooms. Stop generalizing and accusing Christians every time a small minority of them does something to aggravate you. We aren't all the same, just like any other group. Also, stop to think about the jokes you are making about other people's faith, especially when someone that practices it may be in your classroom trying to learn comfortably. I'm not trying to have anything forced into your curriculum or dissing your belief system, so I suggest you show me the same courtesy.

When is Enough, Enough?

Today I'm going to post about something that has stuck with me and has been upsetting me for several days now. Due to this dealing with personal problems I will not be naming names or referencing specific people or naming my relationship to any parties involved, except for myself because it is obvious that I was involved. I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to plot out a course for what I want to do in the next five years to set up the rest of my life. I've been working my butt off and have been trying to balance family life and time with people outside of school and work with my academic life. It has been really hard for me to do this so when I get to visit somebody outside of Hollins I get very excited about it and look forward to spending time with whoever it is.
Last week I had an opportunity to take some time away from campus and spend time with two people who are very important to me. As I said earlier I will not reveal anything about them but I will be referring to them as John and Jane. These two people have done a lot for me in my life and I enjoy going to visit them when I'm not too busy with school. I have always tried to show them my appreciation for them and the respect that I feel for them. I've always been closer to Jane however because as much as John does for me I always feel like he holds it over my head. To add to this feeling John always looks for someone to do something to make them mad. They have always been naturally headstrong and confrontational. Sometimes this is a good thing. They will stick up for someone or defend them if needed and they can get important points across to people who won't listen to someone else.
More times than not though John doesn't know when it's time to stop being confrontational. This has caused problems with us as well as with him and Jane. We still care about and love him very much but that has never stopped him from being confrontational and sometimes just cruel. Last week as Jane and I were conversing about one of my friends over a meal it was mentioned that my friend who is a woman is married to another woman.  Jane and I were not debating my friends marriage I was just telling her a funny story about my friend and her wife. John piped up during this story and said "They aren't married." When I disagreed he went into a rant about what he thinks God would have to say about this.
Jane and I tried to defuse the situation by saying we didn't want to argue over gay marriage we were just talking and he only kept going. It came to the point where he was talking as if my friend was not a human being. I told him to stop that it was upsetting me and I didn't want to hear it but he kept going. We ended up in a shouting match and then he told me to leave his house and that he didn't want anything to do with me. I was more than happy to leave at this point. It upsets me when anyone bullies someone for being different, even if they aren't there to hear it and it upsets me even more when somebody thinks that they can speak for God, especially when they are spewing hate speech. God would not spew hate speech.
This has been a recurring theme with John and I since I've known him, most of the time though he just targets me and not my friends, and now I'm wondering if I'll ever move past this. I've had enough. I cannot keep associating with someone who wants to constantly argue with me, belittle me and treat me like I am beneath them because of my income and gender. At this point while I am grateful for all that they have done for me I can no longer allow myself to be mistreated and waste the little free time I have being treated this way. It's never easy to realize that someone you care about may never change their ways but it's also important to realize that you need to take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect. For me that includes distancing myself away from people who treat me like I'm a subhuman creature and make me feel like I should hate myself. That being said I will never hate John but until they can actually act like they return my feelings of respect and care I have to stay away from them and take a step back from the situations involving them.
It's important to realize when enough is enough and when you shouldn't keep falling for the same apologies when someone is just going to go back to being cruel to you. You need to remember that you're important too  and deserve respect even if someone has helped you out in the past. You cannot allow yourself to be mistreated and you have the right to stick up for yourself. Everyone needs to remember that when dealing with someone that repeats habitual behaviors that hurt you.

Speaking English

In my Spanish class the other morning we somehow ended up talking about people who say "If you're in America then speak English." A lot of people in the class shook their heads or laughed at the statement and some commented on how racist it was. I started thinking about it and I began to wonder if it really is in fact a racist thing to say. I came to the conclusion that it depends on how you say it and what you mean when saying it. I hear people all of the time say that you shouldn't tell people immigrating to or working in the US that they have to learn English because that is telling them to forget their culture and that it's racist. I have to say that no it isn't. If somebody wants to live in a country it stands to reason that they should learn the language of said country. This applies to all countries, not just America.

If I wanted to move to France and live there I would in fact learn French. So why shouldn't I expect immigrants/workers who come to live in America to speak English? The only time I wouldn't expect this is if they suddenly had to flee their country. In that case they would have to learn English by immersion and it would be unreasonable to expect they know the language immediately. I'm not saying that all immigrants need to speak perfect English but they should at least know the basics. Also speaking English doesn't imply that they are giving up their culture. I've studied two foreign languages and have taken classes on international cultures and i haven't lost my American culture, I actually appreciate it more. 

Of course people shouldn't go around picking on and pointing out everybody in a grocery store or public place that is speaking another language because that would be racist. What's the difference? Well the difference is that bullying people for having a private conversation in their native tongue is wrong. They have the right to talk to anybody in whatever language they want. The problem only arises if nobody around them can understand what they are saying when they need help or some type of service. It also would make understanding our laws and public regulations next to impossible so therefore they need to know how to speak English when living in an English speaking country. If somebody is vacationing it's cool if they don't know how to speak English but when living in a country it is necessary to know the native language. On top of this if you were to live in a country that was a Spanish speaking country and you refused to speak Spanish the people in that country would view you as disrespectful and entitled, and they would also be right. So when talking about immigrants or people on a working visa learning to speak English it is not in fact racist to say that they should learn English.