So today I have been so sick that at one point I thought I wouldn't make it out of bed. It's finals week, I'm stressed and I spent most of my day thinking I was going to die of the stomach flu. It's not a big secret that this school year in particular has been very stressful for me. I've finally reached the end of it with satisfactory grades (before my exams are factored in) a new job and a couple new friends. All I have to do is make it through this last exam and I. Am. Done. No more sophomore year. More importantly no more stress for two and a half glorious months.
It feels so good to know that I've made it through something even though it was really hard for me. I have never had so many panic attacks and breakdowns in my whole life as I have had this school year. But I did it. I had a lot of people who supported me and talked to me and listened to me complain about college but somehow I made it through. I even ended up making a short documentary and a short scene for my film major. I don't think I've ever felt this accomplished. I guess it's really paid off that, in the words of the great blue fish Dory, I "Just kept swimming." I still have some unresolved issues with my college, like the continuous rising cost of tuition and what we get for what we pay but I'll tackle those issues later.
Right now I'm just super excited that I only have one exam standing in the way of moving out for the summer. It's going to be one of my hardest exams but even if I fail it I'll still have a B as my overall grade. I think that I've done pretty darn well for myself. I've also come to the conclusion that while my grades are important and that I need to keep them up my future employers only want to see that I passed and graduated from college. In other words I need to stop sweating the small stuff and if I get a B in a class, so what? I'm still an honors student and I'm still doing incredibly well.
Once I get home I'm going to eat a big bowl of non-cafeteria food, play some video games and play cards with my boyfriend and my brother. I won't have any stress from school, all I will have to concentrate on will be me and my summer job. All in all, this school year really sucked but it taught me a lot. You have to keep pushing on and dealing with your struggles because it's the best feeling in the world when you conquer them. I probably will have something else that stresses me my next two years in college but honestly, I think I've got this, because I'm me and I can do whatever I put my mind to.
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