The Truth about Thanksgiving

*** This post has been edited to included some source material since some people believed it to be inaccurate. Also this post is not intending to "slam" Thanksgiving. I have no problem with the holiday and think the modern message of togetherness and thankfulness is a positive one. I am just tired of the victors getting to write an inaccurate version of history that demeans and mocks an entire culture.***


So after a long hiatus from posting I'm back! I've been really busy with school and work and life in general so I haven't had time to sit down and come up with a concrete idea for posting. Today I finally came up with one. I'd like to talk about the holiday Thanksgiving and discuss where it really comes from and what it says about our society. First off celebrating Thanksgiving as a way to be thankful for what you have is a great thing. There is absolutely nothing  wrong with that. However, Thanksgiving is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted holidays in America.
When we are in school our teachers often show us images of cartoonish pilgrims and Native Americans hugging it out and eating together. We are told that the first Thanksgiving was to celebrate making it through some hard times and to celebrate the unity that came from the native peoples helping the settlers survive and learn to grown their own crops on American soil. This could not be further from the truth. Thanksgiving was originally used to celebrate the successful slaughter and land theft of the Pequot tribe. What really happened was a group of pilgrims went in and committed a massive genocide on hundreds of men, women and children because they wanted their land. This was after the Native peoples did in fact help them learn to survive.
You see, there weren't any Native peoples at the table celebrating with them. Further more the depictions of Native peoples that we see in those cartoons and coloring books we pass out to children are not only racist but they are a sad attempt at culturally appropriating Native culture and trying to hide a very dark part in our history. The Native peoples that are alive today have a huge problem with the way they are depicted. The depictions make fun of their religious dress and make them look like a stereotyped vision of what white people associate them with. How would you like to be depicted as a barely clothed person with a large nose, buck teeth and incorrectly used religious garb? You wouldn't. You would be offended, as you should be.
 Native peoples have been trying for years to bring attention to the misappropriation of them in cartoons and sports teams and Thanksgiving, but it always falls on def ears. Americans today supposedly live in a color blind society with no racism, but this is a lie. With people still celebrating Thanksgiving in such a disrespectful manner this is incredibly evident. We can still take a holiday to be thankful for what we have but we need to be mindful and respectful of other cultures in the process. It is not acceptable to have this insensitive and inaccurate depiction of an entire people in our culture. America needs to wake up and realize that there is no excuse for racism and cultural appropriation, not even during a holiday.


Click to view sources: Greener, Richard. The True Story of Thanksgiving
                                  Bates, Susan. The REAL Story of Thanksgiving
                                  Tristan, Rense.com. The Dark Historical Roots Of Our "Thanksgiving"

Why I'm a Pro-Choice Christian

Recently I've enrolled in a class at my university called "Race, Gender and Class." We discuss and deal with issues ranging from racism and colonialism to abortion. At first I was very unsure about whether or not I would enjoy the class; after all we have to do one eight page paper, four three page papers and one five page paper along with discussing some fairly graphic and uncomfortable topics. I'm so glad that I have stayed in that class. It is hands down one of the most interesting classes that I have ever had the pleasure of taking. There is a lot that I have learned in just two weeks about how this countries political structure decides on matters of race, gender and class and the societal implications for people of various class systems.
Our last reading assignment was to read How I Lost Faith in the "Pro-Life" Movement. Being a woman who at one point in her life was strictly "pro-life" I identified with this article a lot. My views today are very different from when I was in high school when it comes to this issue. Personally I would not get an abortion but I don't believe in telling another woman that she couldn't have one. It is her body, her pregnancy, her choice. I have also come to the conclusion in the last few years, just as the woman writing the article has, that the pro-life movement is more about controlling a woman's potential sexual habits than actually saving babies. I have fact checked and researched the statistics and facts in the above article and I can confidently say that she is correct on all accounts. Outlawing contraceptives and abortions only increases the abortion rate. It also increases the mortality rate of fertile women and the number of still births and birth defects. Overall, banning abortion is terrible for the health of women and children. 
In addition to the health risks associated with banning abortions there is the issue of choice. A poor, single woman has the right to choose what she does with her own body, whether or not conservative men disagree with her. She should also have an equal chance to get birth control if she needs and wants it. The government and religious minded radicals shouldn't be allowed to decided how expensive contraceptives are and who can get them covered by insurance or if they are illegal all together. Women should be making the decisions associated with FEMALE contraceptives and with family planning because it is a FEMALE'S job to carry and raise children in. Until men can carry a child to term or have to face the hardships a single, non-wealthy pregnant woman does they don't have the right to decide anything for them. As stated in the article as well, birth control significantly drops the rate of abortions and it also drops the rate of natural miscarriage that occur at one week that encompasses almost 50% of pregnancies.
So today I am asking this question of the "pro-life" movement and its supporters, do you really think banning abortions will do anything for the welfare of this country? Because the answer is it won't. It will only lead us to more poverty, disability and death. Conservatives need to step up and own up to their mistakes and admit the falsehoods that they have been spewing about birth control and abortion rates to the public. They also need to step back and let a panel of elected women (voted on by women) decide on the coverage and use of birth control rather than letting a bunch of middle-aged men decide for women. It is time to change policy with the times and with the new scientific information that is now available to us. There is absolutely no excuse for ignorance on this subject anymore.

Miley Cyrus Isn't A Role Model

Everybody is ranting and raving about Miley Cyrus and her actions at the VMA awards. While I did not watch the program as it was airing I have seen the pictures and the videos and heard the song. A lot of people are saying that she is a slut, appalling, disgusting, raunchy and a horrible role model. There are also a lot of people saying that she shouldn't have performed that way because she is influencing children to behave in a promiscuous and disrespectful manner. Are you kidding me?
First off, Miley Cyrus has said repeatedly that she does not want to be a role model for children. She has also said that she is no longer Hannah Montana and that she wants a more adult and sexy image to distance herself away from her Disney Channel years. She was a child when she signed on for Hannah Montana and I'm sure that she didn't realize then that she would be labeled as a role model and a child forever because of a few years on a TV show. She isn't for anybody's child to watch anymore. She isn't trying to set an example for anyone to follow. Miley Cyrus is trying desperately to make herself into an adult only entertainer and singer. If you are so removed from your child's life that they have to look up to her then you need to reevaluate how you parent.
Further more, why is nobody upset about Robin Thicke? He was on that stage too the last time I checked. He was letting her grind and twerk on him. He was also the one singing a song that is far more disgusting and raunchy than anything that Miley Cyrus did. The whole song is about the "blurred lines" between a woman wanting sex and a man being too pushy with her. Here is a sample of the lyrics:
You're a good girl
Can't let it get past me
You're far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted
I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
...
But you're a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me
...
He don't smack that ass and pull your hair like that
So I just watch and wait for you to salute
But you didn't pick
Not many women can refuse this pimpin'
I'm a nice guy, but don't get it if you get with me
Shake the vibe, get down, get up
Do it like it hurt, like it hurt
What you don't like work?
Baby can you breathe? I got this from Jamaica
It always works for me, Dakota to Decatur, uh huh

So nobody has a problem with Robin Thicke and his lyrics and his actions? He did just as much and even more wrong than Miley Cyrus did. I think a lot of people need to look at what they're getting upset and worked up over and reevaluate. Miley Cyrus was not the only person on that stage and she was not the only one behaving sexually.
The fact is, what Miley Cyrus did was not for children. But she isn't trying to be a role model for anybody's child. She is putting herself out there as an adult and she wants to stop being looked at as a child. Everybody needs to stop trying to force that image on her and start realizing that she is now for adults only. If she wants to be sexual and explicit then let her be and ignore it if you don't like it. People need to also take a look at Robin Thicke, his song and his image if they are going to criticize her.

Minimum Wage Doesn't Mean Minimum Intelligence.

I want to address the common misconceptions about people who work for minimum wage today. As many of you know, I work at a movie theater. This is a minimum wage job and since being there I have seen more of what people think about low paying jobs than I would have ever known before I worked a minimum wage  job. A lot of people assume that anyone who is in a minimum wage position such as cashier, fast food, concessions worker, etc. are stupid, worthless, a burnout and in some cases far beneath them. A lot of this comes from the fact that most of these jobs aren't high paid and the people working their are often young. Since working at the theater I have been called an idiot, a ticket nazi, stupid and I have been told that I lack ambition; This has all been said in the three months that I have been there and most of it has been said more than once.
What the people saying this don't realize is that I'm the opposite of everything they call me. I'm in college because I want to be a movie director. I had a 3.7 GPA in high school and currently have only A's and B's in every college course I have taken. I'm in one of the top all women's schools in the country and I absolutely hate having to card people for movies. So in essence, I have a lot of ambition, I'm highly intelligent and I only card people because if I don't I could get fined for it, not because I'm a "ticket nazi." I'm a person and it does sting every time a customer insults me because of where I work. Every person that I work with is in college or has been to college as well. None of them deserve to be yelled at or called names and quite frankly I get sick of seeing it happen.
People don't realize that someone has to do the job that we do or they couldn't go to the movies. We work hard and put up with a lot and usually manage to do it with a smile. When somebody comes in angry about not being able to get their underage kids into an R rated movie or how much concessions and tickets cost they don't stop and think that that isn't our fault or that we don't control the rules or prices. We are just doing our job, the same as anyone else who wants to get a paycheck would. They also don't stop to think how they would feel if they were us or if their child was getting treated with disrespect for doing his or her job. So the next time you go in somewhere with minimum wage employees be courteous and show them respect; even if they are slow or they make a mistake. They are human and they have feelings and ambitions just like everyone else and they most likely aren't the stereotype of a minimum wage employee.

The Zimmerman Trial

So I'm sure we've all heard about the "not guilty" verdict that was handed down to George Zimmerman on the Trayvon Martin case. There has been a lot of people on both sides speaking out, both happy and unhappy with the verdict. Personally I am not only unhappy with the verdict and I am angry at the justice system and American media over this case. The fact is that George Zimmerman followed around a teenage boy, who was unarmed, and instigated a fight until that teenage boy ended up shot and dead. The police told him NOT to follow Trayvon Martin and he ignored them. He not only blatantly went against what the police said but he killed someone because he was an overly zealous neighborhood watchman.
First off, I would like to address people saying Zimmerman was not told to stand down. There is audio evidence provided by 911 and the police where it is clearly stated that he did not need to follow Trayvon Martin and that he needed to wait for the police. Instead Zimmerman continued to follow him and instigate a fight. Secondly, Zimmerman started the conflict so it wasn't self defense. Yes, there is evidence that Zimmerman was beaten by Trayvon BUT (and this is a big but) Zimmerman followed Martin down the street and confronted him for essentially walking and wearing a hoodie. Zimmerman was the one who began following and threatening Trayvon Martin and Trayvon defended himself against Zimmerman and was shot for it. The fact is, Zimmerman committed the most wrongs in the scenario and is not being held accountable for any of the things he did. Now I would like to discuss the matter of race that has been brought up time and time again during this trial.
A lot of people are saying that this case was about racial profiling, but honestly, I think Zimmerman was found not guilty because of so many people screaming "racial profiling." What he did was clearly wrong, as long as he is convicted for his crime why should we worry about whether or not he's a racist? The answer is the issue of race should have been dealt with after the trial was over. I think that because people became so caught up on the subject of racial profiling that they forgot they were judging the crime and not the morals of the accused. In this country, like it or not, you cannot get into trouble for being a racist because it is a matter of personal opinion which is protected in the US (even if it is a huge problem and a bad thing). Zimmerman may or may not have been racially profiling Trayvon and decided to confront him based on his race but we will never know. Zimmerman himself was biracial so it is up for debate as to whether or not he stopped Trayvon because of his race. The fact is the court, media and the jury should have focused on only what took place and not whether or not Zimmerman did any of this because of racial prejudice. As for me, I believe that Zimmerman is guilty and that because of the way the media covered the case, a killer is walking free.

Working At a Theater

I haven't posted on here in a little less than a month and to all of my active readers I apologize. I've recently been hired at a local movie theater and that's what's been taking up my time and what I'll be writing about today. More specifically I'll be talking about what it's like dealing with people, both the positive and the negative. I happen to really like my job, it makes me happy to help people, I work with really nice and interesting people and I get to see and discuss movies regularly. It's pretty much a perfect fit for me. However, just like any other job there is a downside though.
That downside would happen to be dealing with some of the people that come through. There is nothing more frustrating than a customer that decides to be rude or to say/do unkind things to the people that are trying to serve them and give them an enjoyable experience at the movies. There are people that come through and make a scene or talk down to us over something as simple as accidentally pouring a regular Coke instead of a Diet Coke. When I deal with people like this I have to constantly tell myself that maybe they've had a bad day or maybe they're in a hurry and not get angry with them. Sometimes that's more difficult than others. Especially if they act like I'm just a stupid girl in a minimum wage job that can't fix a drink right.
While my job is not stressful or particularly hard there are days when I'm a little slower than others or when we have a rush of customers that all come in five to ten minutes before their show starts and then get angry because we can't get one to two hundred people through the line in that span of time. While this makes dealing with snotty people harder it also makes dealing with the nice and polite people that much more pleasant. I am more than happy to be polite and go the extra mile for those customers because they simply remember to say please and thank you.  Personally, I love having a smile on my face and bringing people their popcorn and drinks and watching them come out of the theater talking about how great the movie was and the impact it had on them. That's the best part of my job, hearing people talk about how excited, happy, sad, afraid or angry a movie made them. This aspect reminds me of watching movies with my dad when I was little.
My dad used to sit down with my brother and I and put on Star Wars or Indiana Jones and I still remember to this day how those movies made me feel. I remember wondering what Darth Vader was without the suit and how shocked I was when I found out Vader was Luke's father. I also vividly remember being terrified that Jones was going to have his heart ripped out while fighting on the bridge. My dad started my excitement for movies and my passion for them and he will never know how much that changed my life. So when I see people leave a movie at the theater talking about its impact, that's what I remember and that makes dealing with all of the rude customers worth it for me.

Why Americans Are Dumb

So today I was watching the news and I became increasingly irritated by the information I saw. The first thing they talked about (and the longest lasting segment) had to do with Kim and Kanye's relationship and Tiger Woods playing golf. That's exactly why American's are falling behind in the world. Instead of talking about whats going on in our government, legislation or our courts we are busy stuffing our brains with the relationships and lives of celebrities. Think about it, what part about Kim and Kanye's life is important? Why do people even care?
I bet if someone went out and asked questions to the American public more people would know about the latest celebrity drama and have no idea about current issues involving the government, like you know, people being spied on if they use Verizon and that the man who exposed this is now being faced with either an espionage charge or treason. They probably have no idea the gravity of what's happening in the Middle East or in North Korea. Instead they know when Kim Kardashian will have her baby or that Kanye cheated on her.
As I said before, why do we care? It would benefit the American public so much more if we stayed informed about our military, leaders and politics. We would actually be able to make informed decisions when voting, pick better leaders and maybe, God willing, start improving our education system. If you read or watch foreign news you will see that their most important news has to do with politics and world governments. They don't invest as much in celebrities and sports stars. Celebrities and sports needs to be relegated back into tabloids and talk shows and kicked out of our news.
News shouldn't be about the personal lives people that we don't even know. It needs to be about whats happening in our country and what will effect Americans. It should be about the problems we are facing in the Middle East, the threats from North Korea, the drone strikes that our government has launched on other countries. America needs to start caring more about the things that actually matter instead of when the last time that Lady Gaga decided to go to the bathroom or when Justin Bieber ate a burger. Like I said, there's more important things that we should focus on.

Having Pets... And Lots of Them

As anybody who's been to my house knows I have and always have had many pets. I've had a lizard, rats, dogs, cats, fish, a hermit crab, horses and at one point my sister had a rabbit. As of right now we have four dogs, three cats, two horses and a rat. Two days ago the count was up by one and we had two rats. Unfortunately though, as everything and everyone does my rat Starsky passed away. I was so upset when I found him but I was also so relieved that he was just old and didn't get sick with cancer or tumors like so many rats his age do get.
Over many years I've seen several pets pass away and it never gets easier to say goodbye to them. Although it sucks I wouldn't have had it any other way. Pets to me are like an extension of the family and each pet that I've had has been special to me. While dealing with a pet's death is hard I'm glad that as a child that's something I experienced. My pets not only taught me love and responsibility but they also taught me the value of life and that it's OK to miss someone who's died and how to deal with death.
I went through the grieving process and learned how to handle it in a healthy way and I think that as I've grown up it's helped me deal with losing other loved ones. I've also noticed that even though it was extremely devastating the first time I realized a pet could die I'm glad that I learned about death from pets first because it prepared me for what I would feel when people I knew passed away. Losing my rat Starsky the other day was  a shock for me because other than typical aging he was healthy and didn't seem to be a pet that was only a few days away from his last breath. I know that he died healthy and happy though and that makes me feel better while I miss him. He was a good little buddy and I'll always miss having hm around but I know he's in a better place.

Gaming and Women

So I haven't posted much since I've been out of school but I've finally felt inspiration strike. Today I'll be posting on females in games. As many of my friends know I love to game. In fact, until my job starts that's most of what I've been doing since I got out of school for the summer. A lot of games get flack for having poor representations of women. This includes but is not limited to, women being overly sexual in appearance, not having any options for playable female characters and not having any strong female characters or only having females who need to be rescued.
In some cases I would agree that yes, there are problems with the representations of female characters in games but in others I think it's just feminists looking for something to get angry about. The main topic I'll cover is women being overly sexual in appearance. Some games that have been accused of this are games such as the Resident Evil series, The Mass Effect series and Tomb Raider. Of course this is a very short list compared to what is out there. I would just like to ask, why is this a problem? Feminists every where are constantly complaining that women aren't allowed to live freely as sexual beings but then when they see it they complain about women being objectified.
The fact is that yes, these games do have women with noticeable figures but these characters are also very strong female characters who kick some serious butt. They run around shooting up the bad guys and winning without a problem. In games like Mass Effect there are also several opportunities for female characters to shut up men that try to be chauvinists. I know that someone will say this so I'm going to go ahead and make this point before the argument is started. No, these games don't show main characters that are out of shape or larger. Why? Well because most of them are military women or incredibly athletic women that would be in shape if they were performing that way in real life, so it makes sense. I think women of different body types do have a place in gaming but in games depicting active and athletic or military women it wouldn't make that much sense for them to be out of shape.  Why is it a problem that they appear in-shape and good looking? According to feminist theory women should be able to be as sexual as they want and as strong as they want without being judged, so I would argue that the female characters in these games are embodying that ideal.
To me as long as the female characters can be just as strong as the men and they aren't in need of a romantic entanglement to get through their missions there isn't a problem. Honestly, I think that most people that do complain about the appearance of female characters in games (that are showing them as strong and reliable) need to get off of their high horse. There is nothing wrong with a strong woman having a figure and looking good; and if you say there is you are going against feminism.

Just Keep Swimming...

So today I have been so sick that at one point I thought I wouldn't make it out of bed. It's finals week, I'm stressed and I spent most of my day thinking I was going to die of the stomach flu. It's not a big secret that this school year in particular has been very stressful for me. I've finally reached the end of it with satisfactory grades (before my exams are factored in) a new job and a couple new friends. All I have to do is make it through this last exam and I. Am. Done. No more sophomore year. More importantly no more stress for two and a half glorious months.
It feels so good to know that I've made it through something even though it was really hard for me. I have never had so many panic attacks and breakdowns in my whole life as I have had this school year. But I did it. I had a lot of people who supported me and talked to me and listened to me complain about college but somehow I made it through. I even ended up making a short documentary and a short scene for my film major. I don't think I've ever felt this accomplished. I guess it's really paid off that, in the words of the great blue fish Dory, I "Just kept swimming." I still have some unresolved issues with my college, like the continuous rising cost of tuition and what we get for what we pay but I'll tackle those issues later.
Right now I'm just super excited that I only have one exam standing in the way of moving out for the summer.  It's going to be one of my hardest exams but even if I fail it I'll still have a B as my overall grade. I think that I've done pretty darn well for myself. I've also come to the conclusion that while my grades are important and that I need to keep them up my future employers only want to see that I passed and graduated from college. In other words I need to stop sweating the small stuff and if I get a B in a class, so what? I'm still an honors student and I'm still doing incredibly well.
Once I get home I'm going to eat a big bowl of non-cafeteria food, play some video games and play cards with my boyfriend and my brother. I won't have any stress from school, all I will have to concentrate on will be me and my summer job. All in all, this school year really sucked but it taught me a lot. You have to keep pushing on and dealing with your struggles because it's the best feeling in the world when you conquer them. I probably will have something else that stresses me my next two years in college but honestly, I think I've got this, because I'm me and I can do whatever I put my mind to.

You Too Can Be A Distraction

So last month I published a blog post about a school principal who ban strapless dresses at a school dance because they could possibly "make male students lose control of themselves." When I published this blog post I thought it was well written and well said but I had to take it down after only being up for a few hours. Why would I take a post down? Well because too many people were arguing on it and calling each other names and sending derogatory messages to each other and me so I decided that it was more hurtful than helpful and maybe it needed some review. I also had several people ask me why was I upset with the principal to begin with and what my point was. One male reader of my blog rightly pointed out to me that while there was an issue of equality in that particular dances dress code it's unfair to say that women should act like their clothing never distracts men. As much as I'll probably get chewed out by someone for this, he is right. Female clothing can unintentionally and intentionally distract men.
After talking to this reader and having a fairly long debate with him, and another male reader, I came to realize that maybe my stance was too harsh but I still feel that this principal shouldn't have phrased the statement the way she did. Female students and male students alike should have to follow a dress code and she shouldn't have claimed that female clothing controls the amount of control that male students have over themselves. The fact is they control their actions, even if a woman is wearing clothing that they view as sexy or revealing. Women can also be distracted by men's clothing and those who reveal their bodies in public. Why do you think so many women flocked to Magic Mike? Clothing and lack of clothing being sexy is a two way street and men should be held just as accountable for their dress as women are.
My main issue with what the principal said was that she shifted all of the blame for possible male student actions onto the female students, thus perpetuating the idea that women's looks and clothing are responsible for how men behave and think. Men and women alike will always notice when a member of the opposite sex looks attractive or sexy but that isn't in the other person's control. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; There were times in high school when I could have worn a parka and baggy pants and some boy would have still had sexual thoughts about me or made sexual remarks about how I was dressed. Men and women will always have different dress codes in school and public places because they ARE different physically but you cannot target one over the other. You cannot tell men that they can be shirtless and in shorts all of the time and its OK when you'll turn around and call a woman a slut for wearing a midriff bearing shirt and shorts. I pay attention to shirtless men all of the time, but nobody would ever tell a man "Put on a shirt, you may distract the women and they'd lose control of themselves."

I hope now that I have stated my point better and that this post is absent of any confusion on why I was upset with this principal to begin with and that their will be debates rather than arguments and name calling.

That Offended Me

So tonight I saw a classmate's post on Facebook that was poking fun of people who believe in creationism over evolution. Normally I just ignore these posts and don't look at them with a second thought or let them bother me but tonight it made me think of a few times that I have been offended due to my faith while in college. Now I'm not overly uptight or easily offended, I like all forms of humor and I poke fun at myself often. There are however, things that make me uncomfortable. I once had a professor, don't get me wrong he was a great professor, but he was very clearly anti-christian. When I say anti-christian I am not just talking about him being an atheist I'm talking about how he discussed Christianity.
When he was in class and he would talk about the subject of Christianity he often made subtle jokes about how ridiculous it was to believe in something like that and how obvious it was that Christians must be wrong because of all of the scientific evidence around them. This bothered me for several reasons. The main problem was that he was generalizing the way Christians act and think and the other major issue was that he was pushing his personal beliefs and mocking the beliefs of others openly in a learning environment. As a Christian I do believe in creation. This doesn't mean that I don't believe in science or evolution. I believe that God created everything and due to that he could use science and evolution to make the world work and change. I don't look at blatant evidence of something and say "this is wrong because it isn't in the bible." There's a lot of modern things, theories and facts that aren't in the bible but I know that it said God created everything so therefore I believe he made science and evolution. It really offended me that this professor said Christians were idiots for not believing in it, and I openly let him know what I thought.
Another problem was that I felt extremely uncomfortable in his class because he mocked my faith on a weekly basis, not directly or to me personally but in the comments he made during the lecture. This is a huge problem for students of any faith in any college setting today. Many professors and college students openly condemn faith based thinking because they think that science and the world has given them all of the answers and that people of any faith are idiots for believing in a higher power. I have heard many derogatory and hurtful remarks come from those who don't share my faith but it has become much worse since I've been in college. My theory on this is that people become college students or professors and start assuming that they have all of the answers and if you don't agree with them than you are wrong.
 I would like to see this change. It made it so much harder for me to sit and learn in a class where my faith was mocked. On top of that, personal religious leanings are supposed to be kept out of the classroom, that includes not making fun of any religion openly in your class. My message to professors and students alike that think like this professor is a simple one: Not all Christians are stupid. Not all Christians are bigots who persecute non-Christians. Not all Christians try to shove their views into your classrooms. Stop generalizing and accusing Christians every time a small minority of them does something to aggravate you. We aren't all the same, just like any other group. Also, stop to think about the jokes you are making about other people's faith, especially when someone that practices it may be in your classroom trying to learn comfortably. I'm not trying to have anything forced into your curriculum or dissing your belief system, so I suggest you show me the same courtesy.

When is Enough, Enough?

Today I'm going to post about something that has stuck with me and has been upsetting me for several days now. Due to this dealing with personal problems I will not be naming names or referencing specific people or naming my relationship to any parties involved, except for myself because it is obvious that I was involved. I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to plot out a course for what I want to do in the next five years to set up the rest of my life. I've been working my butt off and have been trying to balance family life and time with people outside of school and work with my academic life. It has been really hard for me to do this so when I get to visit somebody outside of Hollins I get very excited about it and look forward to spending time with whoever it is.
Last week I had an opportunity to take some time away from campus and spend time with two people who are very important to me. As I said earlier I will not reveal anything about them but I will be referring to them as John and Jane. These two people have done a lot for me in my life and I enjoy going to visit them when I'm not too busy with school. I have always tried to show them my appreciation for them and the respect that I feel for them. I've always been closer to Jane however because as much as John does for me I always feel like he holds it over my head. To add to this feeling John always looks for someone to do something to make them mad. They have always been naturally headstrong and confrontational. Sometimes this is a good thing. They will stick up for someone or defend them if needed and they can get important points across to people who won't listen to someone else.
More times than not though John doesn't know when it's time to stop being confrontational. This has caused problems with us as well as with him and Jane. We still care about and love him very much but that has never stopped him from being confrontational and sometimes just cruel. Last week as Jane and I were conversing about one of my friends over a meal it was mentioned that my friend who is a woman is married to another woman.  Jane and I were not debating my friends marriage I was just telling her a funny story about my friend and her wife. John piped up during this story and said "They aren't married." When I disagreed he went into a rant about what he thinks God would have to say about this.
Jane and I tried to defuse the situation by saying we didn't want to argue over gay marriage we were just talking and he only kept going. It came to the point where he was talking as if my friend was not a human being. I told him to stop that it was upsetting me and I didn't want to hear it but he kept going. We ended up in a shouting match and then he told me to leave his house and that he didn't want anything to do with me. I was more than happy to leave at this point. It upsets me when anyone bullies someone for being different, even if they aren't there to hear it and it upsets me even more when somebody thinks that they can speak for God, especially when they are spewing hate speech. God would not spew hate speech.
This has been a recurring theme with John and I since I've known him, most of the time though he just targets me and not my friends, and now I'm wondering if I'll ever move past this. I've had enough. I cannot keep associating with someone who wants to constantly argue with me, belittle me and treat me like I am beneath them because of my income and gender. At this point while I am grateful for all that they have done for me I can no longer allow myself to be mistreated and waste the little free time I have being treated this way. It's never easy to realize that someone you care about may never change their ways but it's also important to realize that you need to take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect. For me that includes distancing myself away from people who treat me like I'm a subhuman creature and make me feel like I should hate myself. That being said I will never hate John but until they can actually act like they return my feelings of respect and care I have to stay away from them and take a step back from the situations involving them.
It's important to realize when enough is enough and when you shouldn't keep falling for the same apologies when someone is just going to go back to being cruel to you. You need to remember that you're important too  and deserve respect even if someone has helped you out in the past. You cannot allow yourself to be mistreated and you have the right to stick up for yourself. Everyone needs to remember that when dealing with someone that repeats habitual behaviors that hurt you.

Speaking English

In my Spanish class the other morning we somehow ended up talking about people who say "If you're in America then speak English." A lot of people in the class shook their heads or laughed at the statement and some commented on how racist it was. I started thinking about it and I began to wonder if it really is in fact a racist thing to say. I came to the conclusion that it depends on how you say it and what you mean when saying it. I hear people all of the time say that you shouldn't tell people immigrating to or working in the US that they have to learn English because that is telling them to forget their culture and that it's racist. I have to say that no it isn't. If somebody wants to live in a country it stands to reason that they should learn the language of said country. This applies to all countries, not just America.

If I wanted to move to France and live there I would in fact learn French. So why shouldn't I expect immigrants/workers who come to live in America to speak English? The only time I wouldn't expect this is if they suddenly had to flee their country. In that case they would have to learn English by immersion and it would be unreasonable to expect they know the language immediately. I'm not saying that all immigrants need to speak perfect English but they should at least know the basics. Also speaking English doesn't imply that they are giving up their culture. I've studied two foreign languages and have taken classes on international cultures and i haven't lost my American culture, I actually appreciate it more. 

Of course people shouldn't go around picking on and pointing out everybody in a grocery store or public place that is speaking another language because that would be racist. What's the difference? Well the difference is that bullying people for having a private conversation in their native tongue is wrong. They have the right to talk to anybody in whatever language they want. The problem only arises if nobody around them can understand what they are saying when they need help or some type of service. It also would make understanding our laws and public regulations next to impossible so therefore they need to know how to speak English when living in an English speaking country. If somebody is vacationing it's cool if they don't know how to speak English but when living in a country it is necessary to know the native language. On top of this if you were to live in a country that was a Spanish speaking country and you refused to speak Spanish the people in that country would view you as disrespectful and entitled, and they would also be right. So when talking about immigrants or people on a working visa learning to speak English it is not in fact racist to say that they should learn English.

Abstinence: Education Vs. Ignorance

So today I read this article about how a teen got into trouble with her high school for protesting their abstinence only sex-ed program: Click here to read it.
This article reminded me very much of the type of education that I received in high school. My school had an abstinence only approach and in the eighth grade I distinctly remember a woman coming in telling us all to abstinent and then making every eighth grader in the audience sign an abstinence pledge. I've always thought that this approach was ridiculous. Not because I'm against abstinence and not because I think every high school student in the world is out having sex every second and I certainly don't advocate high school students having sexual relations.
However, I do realize that this is an unrealistic and ignorant approach to sex-ed. The school I went to had a very high pregnancy rate and I remember several of the girls I knew telling me that they had become pregnant because they didn't have access to birth control, didn't know anything about birth control or had taken birth control with their antibiotic thus causing it to fail. While yes, the only way to ensure 100% that you won't get pregnant is abstinence you cannot pretend that educating young women and men about birth control isn't positive.
 Educating high school students about birth control is essential. My high school tried to make it sound like sex killed more people than old age and that only women were guilty if they had sex before marriage. At one point I remember them showing us a video where a man was given a pair of clean sneakers by his wife and told her how much he loved her. Then another couple was together and the wife gave her husband old worn out sneakers and he replied "Ew, it looks like the whole football team has been in this," and then the video said this is what will happen if you don't wait to have sex.
Why does this only target girls? Why can't men be like old worn out sneakers too? Furthermore why are you shaming these young girls? Other than the fact that this video was just cruel it was ignorant. The better approach would to have been to say what you do with your body is your choice and everyone should respect that, regardless of personal religious views. As I said earlier I don't advocate high school students having sex but there should still be education about birth control, how to get it and how to use it. It would prevent so many pregnancies and they would be further educated about how their bodies actually work instead of just being told "These are your no-no parts, only touch them and let them be touched while you are cleaning yourself."

No Such Thing as Stupid

I'm sure we've all had moments in our life where we've had to instruct or teach someone and were completely frustrated by the experience. Maybe the person just wasn't listening to you or they weren't understanding you or you didn't know how to help them. While I'm not by any means a professional I have tutored children from time to time who have had trouble with reading or writing and sometimes both at the same time. I have had my share of frustrating days tutoring but it has taught me that most importantly there is no such thing as a stupid child.
What I mean by this is that children are never stupid, they are all highly intelligent and capable of learning no matter what handicaps they may have. Children learn as much as those around them are willing to teach. Do keep in mind that teaching comes through actual knowledge and effort working together, you can't just spoon information out into their heads. Children need you to be patient and to show them things more than once sometimes. You may wonder why I'm writing about this today and it is because I heard something truly appalling while trying to eat dinner in the cafeteria tonight. The girl and her friends at the table behind me (all clearly freshmen) were discussing a student's work. First off, you never discuss a student's work with your friends, that was her first mistake. The second mistake she made were far worse though. She proceeded to read the student's work out loud to them and emphasize all of their spelling errors She then loudly proclaimed, "See, he isn't dyslexic, he's just stupid."
I was completely shocked. How dare she call this poor child stupid. I mean, what kind of monster does that? Yes, I will call her a monster. I'm not someone that has ever been particularly maternal but making fun of a child that is giving you their trust and hoping you can help them is beyond wrong. From what I heard her reading the child clearly was dyslexic but that doesn't really matter. What matters is is that he is not stupid. Like I said earlier no child can be stupid. Children are incredibly smart when given the chance to learn and succeed no matter what may try to hold them back, even a disorder like dyslexia. This child should have, no he deserves, a tutor that will tell him he's smart and is willing to sit down and have the patience to work with him so he understands the words he's trying to form. He also needs someone that sees the beauty in what he has to write and who will encourage it, not mock it.
People like this girl do not deserve to be working with children. Being a tutor isn't the most glamorous job a college student can dream of but it is one of the most educational and rewarding. I hope that she sees this before she ruins this child's educational experience. What you teach children when they are young is retained for their whole lives. If they are taught that they are stupid they will always think they are and in some cases even act that way in their adult life because they have no sense of pride in their intelligence. Remember the next time you see a child struggling with their work to tell them that they're smart and that they can do it. Let them know that they are worth the effort, don't act like this girl and call them names like some arrogant douche with nothing better to do.

Public Anxiety

Today I made the decision to put one of my student shorts in a public viewing film festival at a local theater. This is the first time that my work will be shown outside of my college with me sitting there watching the audience's reaction. I've always been terrified of large amounts of attention on anything I do. I've always been the person that gets all sweaty and pale when they have to be in front of a group of people or show their work to someone. I even completely freak out when a potential employer calls me on the phone. I start pacing and panicking because I have public anxiety problems. While I won't be getting up to speak or answer questions about my film I'm still completely terrified.
I know that I tried my hardest with my film and that my professor really liked it and so has everyone else that has seen it but that isn't how I look at it. Every single time I watch my own work I notice every tiny flaw and think to myself how awful it is and that THAT is what the audience will see. So even when I have no attention focused on me personally I still freak out. That's also part of the reason why I force myself to take classes and do projects that I will have to do some form of exhibition in. I know that I need to get over my anxiety. In the line of work I want to go into it is beyond essential that other people see my work, even before it will be finished and perfected in some cases; so I have to teach myself to get over it now. Unfortunately that will involve several episodes of panicking and hating my work and myself before that is accomplished.
In the spirit of still trying to learn to get over my public anxiety however I have decided to watch my piece on the big screen Saturday and force myself to make internal compliments on at least three things. I don't know whether or not this will actually do anything for me or help me accomplish anything but I'm going to at least try. That's what is important after all, isn't it? The effort we put forward into making ourselves better and how sincere we are in that effort. It isn't about being perfect or never feeling public anxiety again, it's just about trying my hardest and working to get past my issues.  

It's Not Polite to Stare

So as many people who read my blog are aware I attend an all girls undergraduate college. Being part of an all women's community has several advantages such as being able to go braless in my building when walking to the kitchen, not feeling pressured to look my best everyday in class and not worrying about how my peers will react to me if I voice my woman's perspective on any issues brought up. However this type of environment ,like any, has it's share of downsides. I'm not going to complain and focus on all of them today but I would like to talk about one that I have come to refer to as the "Rooster in the hen house" effect. Or simply girls freaking out whenever they see a boy somewhere they didn't expect to.
Now I call it the "rooster in the hen house effect" because of a TV show I watched in which a man dressed as a woman was found to be a man and all of the women started screaming "there's a rooster in the hen house" to alert everyone. The "rooster in the hen house" effect at Hollins doesn't involve screaming and running away but it involves casting glances at, staring and sometimes even whispering when a man is spotted in the dorms or cafeteria. Now I'm not saying that everyone does this because I have plenty of friends on campus who have never done this but I noticed it happening a lot more than usual the last time I brought my boyfriend to visit. Every time he's visited Hollins to see me he always says he feels like an alien because everybody watches him like he's going to explode. I never noticed it until the other night.
After we had been on a movie date to see the remake of Evil Dead I had to participate in the housing lottery and he came with me to have some extra time together after our date. Upon sitting down in the cafeteria he began asking me why the girls at the table across from us kept pointing at him and whispering. My reply was "You're hot, that's why," thinking it was only a one time incident. Then I noticed it kept happening and it wasn't as if my peers were trying to hide it, we could even hear what some of them were saying. Hollins has, to it's benefit, an unusually high acceptance of various peoples so I was truly shocked when this was happening. They pointed and whispered and stared at my boyfriend like he had five heads making him very uncomfortable.
While I have never experienced the problem this badly before I would like to inform everyone that it is indeed very rude to stare. It makes it even worse when the person already feels like a foreign entity. While again, a lot of women at Hollins do not do this I would like to make it known that when a man visits campus he shouldn't be made to feel like an outsider. He shouldn't have to worry about being stared at or talked about just because he's the only man in the room. On that note, I would also like to thank the women around us who greeted him and said hello and actually acted as if they had some sense. I know they're aren't a lot of men running around campus but I hope in the future that my peers act a little bit more mature about it next time.

Young Marriage

So I'm typing up this post tonight because I've noticed that a lot of people that graduated with me or a year before me are suddenly getting married. A select few of my former classmates are extremely happy and a have a great family unit, but then there's the others...
I've noticed that some of them have been on facebook less than a year after their marriage began announcing a divorce or saying how much they hate their spouses or they're constantly threatening their spouse with divorce over facebook. Now there are several problems with this, other than the obnoxious posting of drama on the internet. Most of the problem is that these people are not ready to get married. The ones that I mentioned that are doing well were ready. Now what's the difference? Maturity.
Most people that get married right after high school don't get that marriage isn't dating. You can't just say it's over after a fight and be done with it. You have to work really hard to make it work and to work through any problems that come up. You shouldn't be just jumping onto to the marriage train because you can and because it sounds like it'll make your life better. You need to know yourself and your potential spouse and the last time I checked, when you graduate high school you're just discovering yourself. Why do you think so many college students break up with long-term boyfriends/girlfriends after their first couple of years at school? It's because you change after high school.
A vast majority of recent high school graduates aren't ready for marriage and those that are, they are far and few between. So if you're about to graduate high school or have graduated recently, stop and really think about what you want in life if you're thinking about getting married. If somebody really and truly wants to be with you and stay for the rest of their life (contrary to modern beliefs and actions it is supposed to be a lifetime commitment) then they will wait until you are sure you're ready. Getting married doesn't make you an adult, being smart enough to know yourself and make good decisions and sticking to commitments does.

Summer Jobs are like Unicorns

Summer Jobs are indeed like unicorns, meaning that in this economy they don't exist. I have been trying to find a job since I graduated from high school 2 years ago and other than my college work study that I do during the school year I have nothing. This means not one, not two, but three months without any money every year. Once again I have resumed my job search for the summer and once again I feel like I'm coming up empty handed. No matter how hard I try I get rejected or don't even hear back from the places I apply to. It isn't like I'm slacking off, I show up in person to get and return my applications, if it's an online application after I complete it I go to the store and talk to the manager and I make sure to call them every week after I turn it in.
It never works. It doesn't matter that I'm doing everything right and trying my hardest to get a job. People are always telling me to do the same things to get a job, (which are the things I just listed as doing) but for a college student that is competing with much older adults for jobs that used to be reserved for the youth of America I don't really stand a chance. I've come to the point that I'm so frustrated trying to find a job that I cry just thinking about it. Why do I get so upset about it? Well because I feel like a failure and a loser. Having a hard time in school doesn't make it any easier either. It's days like this that I wish I could magically win the lottery or the forever prize from Publisher's Clearing House.
I've become so tired of hearing people tell me that I can do it and that I can find a job for this summer that I could vomit. My frustrations about finding a job are a common problem among many people my age right now so there is that to comfort me but it still doesn't help much. Most of the reason that I'm so upset about not having a job yet is because I can't give my parents money on tuition. The fact is, my tuition is not getting any easier to pay. Every year that I've been at Hollins it has been raised and will probably continue to do so, and I want to help ease that burden on my parents. After all, it is MY education. I would also like to start saving up money to get out of the house the fall after I graduate from college but if I can't find a job that will be incredibly difficult. So until the point that I win the lottery I have to keep looking for a job and praying that the economy magically adds jobs for me in the next few weeks.

History Months

So every year on April 1st Jack Douglass of JacksFilm posts a video called "White History Month" as an April fools joke.











http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyn9cBvdlyU

While this video is lighthearted it also makes a point. People would crap their pants and cry "racism" if we had anything called "white history" as a public celebration. They also say in the video that "everyday is white history," making another point that the general public, and most white people, do not feel the need to celebrate a white history month. This got me thinking today about all of the other history months that are out there. Why do we celebrate them?
As many people know, women's history month just ended and to be honest, I never saw the point to it. Women's history month is supposed to bring attention to the need for gender equality and women's accomplishments; but if we truly want equality why give ourselves a whole month to set us apart and celebrate being women? If we had a "Men's history month" it would be negatively received in the same way a white history month would. It's like looking at a teammate/band mate/partner and saying "I think we are both just as cool but I'm always going to put myself in the spotlight over you because you made fun of me in the past." There is really no need for a women's history month because it should just be history. We need to put the discrimination and negativity behind us and move forward. Even Morgan Freeman has said he does not agree with black history month for the reason that black history should just be considered part of history (http://www.today.com/id/10482634/ns/today-entertainment/t/freeman-calls-black-history-month-ridiculous/#.UVnq6ZNwfGg).
The fact is, having a history month doesn't do anyone any good. Everybody's history should just be looked at as a part of humanity's history as a whole, it shouldn't be segregated and set apart to make a point. Personally celebrating your history is one thing but making it a national holiday? That's just ridiculous. So how about we get rid of all of the history months and just teach about everyone's history equally in school instead of a forced celebration.

R E S P E C T Find Out What it Means

Today's post is about something that, as referenced in the title, Ms. Aretha Franklin sang about in a very famous song. In other words, it's about respect. While respect is literally spelled out in her song I feel that some people may need a different type of spelling out. It seems to me that many people in the world, myself included don't always respect each other. According to thefreedictionary.com respect is defined as follows:

 1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem. 
2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit. 
3. To relate or refer to; concern.


Today I'm specifically talking about definition number 2. "To Avoid violation or interference with..." Respect is dwindling in the world, especially in my age group. People today seem to think that because of who they are or that they are an adult that they are entitled to do whatever they want and get whatever they want when they want it. The fact is this is simply not the case. People are not entitled to whatever they want when they want it and they cannot just do whatever they want. For an example of "to avoid violation" let's say Pauline and Regina are out seeing a movie. Regina cannot just take Pauline's cell phone and start going through it without asking because that violates Pauline's physical space and property. Likewise Pauline cannot start eating Regina's popcorn without asking because that violates Regina's space, property and in this case, the money she spent on said popcorn. 

When people get an attitude of entitlement a lot of times they start ignoring the fact that they have to ask for permission. This especially happens between friends and with younger people. The second part of definition number two states "...Interference with..." Once again, let's say Regina and Pauline are hanging out together. This time Regina and Pauline are spending a week in a hotel for their job's annual conference. Pauline cannot stay up until 2 AM talking on the phone to her college roommate while Regina is trying to sleep because that interferes with something that is necessary to Regina, sleep. Likewise Regina cannot spend the late night or early morning hours making a lot of unnecessary noise while getting ready if Pauline is still asleep because this interferes with Pauline's sleep. 
While these are all hypothetical situations they do demonstrate a point I'm trying to make. A lot of young people in later high school grades and in college do not pay attention to respecting their peers. They often act like they can do whatever they want just because of who they are and they forget that other people have rights and feelings as well. Young people need to start being more courteous to each other, such as asking permission NOT forgiveness and by being kind and remembering the magic words your parents taught you; "Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me" and "May I." They need to stop asking forgiveness instead of permission, owning up to their actions and just remembering common courtesy. It doesn't matter who you are, if you don't respect others it looks bad on you and eventually comes back to bite you.  

Human Rights and Marriage

I'm sure everyone who has a facebook or twitter or access to any type of media knows that today there will be a supreme court ruling on gay marriage. This has been a subject that often times people around the world are not comfortable dealing with. It has also, as I'm sure you know, been an idea that many people oppose or have struggled to accept. I'm writing this post today to address some of the resistance and the bigotry and hopefully make some people think twice about how they view anyone in the gay community.
To me gay rights are not gay rights, they are human rights. Anyone who is of any homosexual orientation is a person and they should be treated as such. I'm tired of hearing about people being bullied, harassed and even attacked just because they are different from the majority. They deserve better. They deserve the same treatment that heterosexual individuals receive. They are made of cells, blood, flesh and skin just like everyone else. The only different is that they are programmed to love people of the same gender. While it may be a controversial topic I DO believe that they are born gay. They do not choose to be gay. Why would anyone choose to be gay in a place where they would be persecuted the way so many Americans persecute them now? This country needs to stop punishing people for being born. The cycle of persecuting those we don't understand is just repeating itself.
If you look back at the history of America we are denying rights to gay people in much the same way that the Irish and the black community were denied them. Why can't people see the similarities now? Why can't they see we are doing the same things now that we did to the immigrants so long ago? America is supposed to be a country dedicated to freedom and equality, not freedom and equality to those that our leaders deem worthy. The Declaration of Independence says "All men are created equal..." it says we have the right to "The pursuit of happiness." If we founded our country on such documents why are we ignoring them now? Further more why shouldn't our gay citizens be allowed to marry? That would not hurt anyone. The only reason it bothers people in the first place is because they are ignorant and afraid of what they don't understand. They have a right to pursue their happiness, even if it means marrying someone of the same gender and I hope that today America realizes this.

Respecting Our Troops

So today's post is going to focus on my general frustration with people using social media to bash, degrade and disrespect our troops. I've noticed since I've been at college that many students have begun to say and post things that are in direct opposition to our US troops out of ignorance. This is the main reason why I did my short documentary 'Away." I wanted to show what the troops experience and why we should be grateful to them. It not only bothers me but offends me to see people take to the internet or the media to disrespect the people in this country who have the hardest job and are sacrificing everything so we can have our freedom.
First off, the troops don't pick the wars and they don't start them. It's all of the world's stupid politicians and leaders that do that. It's the same communist leaders that have launched strikes against the US that you feel "sorry" for that are starting conflicts with the US. The troops we have are protecting us and defending our freedoms. It doesn't matter what your political feelings are about a particular conflict, you should still support the troops and give them support for what they do. They are willing to die to protect you but you're going to get on the internet and talk about how they're awful people? Well why don't you reevaluate yourself. You probably haven't ever put yourself in front of bullets for people you don't even know, you probably haven't even had a remotely challenging job in your life and somehow you think you can judge them, can degrade them, can be cruel to them. I can tell you one thing, they aren't the horrible people in this situation.
Further more, it isn't their fault that people in other countries are dying in these conflicts. When they are battling the enemy they have to defend themselves. As for any innocents that die, HOW DARE YOU put that on them. That is not their fault. The people leading the country that started the war are responsible for that. They are responsible for the innocent lives lost and for those of our troops. I'm not saying that our government has always made the best decisions in regards to conflicts but the fact is we are living in a time where terrorists have not only attacked us but are continuing to threaten us and we have the right to self defense. Our troops above all else deserve our respect and our thanks. I only hope that the people I have seen posting the crap about our troops see this and rethink how they act and rethink what they say.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vha02P7DxZ0 My documentary in case you need to see a tiny bit of what the troops experience

You're a girl, so stop doing that.

I've noticed that our society tends to tell women that can't do a lot of things because they are women. Now I'm not talking about things that may jump into your mind like receive equal pay or equal treatment in the workplace, I'm talking about how they are treated romantically/sexually/casually. I have seen women get criticized for not going on dates with pushy men and for not having enough sex or having too little sex.. Society often acts like women need to be nice to people who are getting on their nerves even though a lot of men are not held to that same standard.
If you need examples I have a few, some from me and some from friends. First off, I've noticed if a man hits on me and I tell him politely to leave me alone or that I'm not interested, I'm a prude, mean or stand offish, but when when men tell women they aren't interested or to leave them alone they are just simply being honest and expressing their need for space. I've had this happen to me several times. When I was in high school a boy that I had only met once asked me out and when I told him no he began to harass me daily and threaten me with death and worse. He even went as far as to smash up one of my male friend's mailboxes just because I talked to them more than I talked to him. When I brought this issue up with the school's resource officer he asked me "Well, why didn't you just go on a date with him? It isn't nice to turn a man down." Now, when one of my male friends was being harassed by a girl that he said no to going to prom with he had no trouble getting the resource officer's help. The same officer that denied me help immediately acted for this young man and stopped the young woman from bothering him. Why? Because society thinks women shouldn't say no to men.
The one that really bothers me though is the issue of how much sex a woman has. Mainly because that's HER business and not for anyone else. In high school, mine specifically, a lot of girls were called prudes and uptight because they weren't having sex. Then the girls that had had sex were whores and sluts. Yes, men deal with this too but more often than not men are called pimps for having multiple sex partners. I saw so many high school girls have their values or self esteem torn down by the people they went to school with even though the boys were praised if they were or were not having sex . Now in college, I have seen a lot of girls still going through the same exact thing or dealing with worse. I have heard men say things like "That girl is such a prude, she needs a good f*** to fix that," about women who haven't had sex. I've also heard men accusing women of having STD's because that have had sex more than once. The fact is it's not anybody's business. So what, if a woman is choosing to not have sex or choosing to have sex? It's her life, and her personal choices should not be broken down and examined unfairly by society.
While these problems can also apply to men I have seen them apply to women more often than not. Society needs to get out of the "Mad Men" mindset and realize women can do whatever they want and that they shouldn't have to worry about what is taboo or not. Women should not have separate standards of behavior than men. If men can say no to dates, so can women. If men can choose how much sex they have (even none at all) than so can women. We, as a society, should not be treating the same issues differently.

Mental Health

Recently I've had to deal with a lot of anxiety issues, my own and those of others as well. A lot of people have come to me when they go through anxiety attacks or just feel overwhelmed because they know I get it. While I'm an understanding person there are many people out there who don't understand, and those who will never understand. Most of those people have never had an anxiety attack or they're from an older generation. Whatever the reason for not understanding it, those who don't understand often make dealing with anxiety a lot harder.
I, myself, have been called crazy, stupid, overly sensitive and melodramatic for having anxiety attacks. Every time I would hear this it would make me feel like those other people were right and maybe I was just crazy for having an anxiety attack. Maybe I was overly sensitive and I needed to get myself under control before I made them feel more uncomfortable. The fact is that isn't the case. While everyone that has anxiety problems or another mental health problem needs to find a way to deal with it you should never feel bad or apologize for it. There are so many people in the world that face this issue (it's actually very common) and they shouldn't feel crazy for it. Of course the lack of sensitivity to mental health issues relates back to a lack of education.
Most people who just write off others as crazy because they have a mental health disorder are not educated enough on the issue. Most of them are ignorant to mental health issues and the way to handle people that have one. Sometimes this is just a failure of the education system and other times it is because they refuse to learn about it. Whatever the reason, this needs to change, and fast. Society needs to learn how to react, care for and understand mental illness and various disorders. Why should they have to learn about other people's problem? Simply because millions of people suffer from these issues and as a society we cannot continue to ostracize and discriminate against others because of ignorance. Those suffering from any type of disorder shouldn't be made to feel ashamed or lose a job because there isn't proper education on mental health.

Women aren't Greek Statues

So Today while browsing the internet I found this wonderful image:
Of course I say "wonderful" sarcastically. Now as a person who has suffered with skin problems, including acne, for a very long time, I can safely say that not only does this add offend me but it disturbs me. The fact is nobody on this planet has perfect skin. It really bothers me that a company which prides itself on making you feel confident with your skin would put this out as an advertisement. They are not only implying that acne is unsightly but they are implying that it will repulse men away from you. Other than this just being shallow, it's wrong and should make people, women especially, avoid buying their products.
Women aren't Greek statues and we should not be held to some higher standard of beauty because it is what society deems attractive. So what if you get a few pimples? Only a jerk would care about it anyways. Acne is temporary and minor compared to the grand scheme of things and if someone loves you that is not what they'll be looking at. Companies need to STOP thinking it's acceptable to degrade women and target their insecurities to sell products. They are selling a shallow and unrealistic brand of beauty to women and young girls and they shouldn't be getting away with that. So the next time you're out shopping for beauty or skin care products, really think about how the company advertises to you. Would you still associate with someone in public that mocked you because you had a few blemishes? Then why would you give them your hard earned money?

Oh, and Proactiv, on a side note, I tried your products once at a friends and I not only had an allergic reaction to it but it made my skin breakout more.

You're Dressing Like a Whore: High School Dress Codes

So I came across this article today all about how dress codes negatively impact and shame middle and high school girls. This article discussed the fact that in high school girls are made to wear clothes that are sometimes next to impossible to find in stores because of what is in style; all so they can accommodate men in the classroom and stop wandering eyes/minds. I agreed with almost everything that this article said. I remember being that high school girl that couldn't wear her shorts and tank-top to school in 80+ humid weather because they violated the overly conservative dress code. It didn't matter that I was burning up and sweating like crazy in a pair of long jeans and a t-shirt, what mattered to the school was that I didn't upset the male faculty or students.

The dress code at my old high school is below and I have highlighted the ones I take issue with.


The Bedford County Public School Dress Code prohibits the wearing of any of 
the following:
 Bedroom slippers, pajamas, or lounging pants
 Clothing or accessories that advertise, glorify or symbolize any illegal 
substance, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, or illegal acts
 Clothing or accessories that contain vulgar, derogatory, violent, or 
suggestive diagrams, pictures, words, or slogans
 Clothing or accessories with gang insignia or symbols
 Dresses, skirts, shorts, and skorts shorter than five inches (the length of 
an index card) above the knee cap when standing 
 Exposed undergarments
 Hats, bandannas, head covers, sweatbands, sun visors, and sunglasses 
(unless prior arrangements are made with the principal for medical or 
religious reasons)
 Heavy chains worn as jewelry or belts and free swinging chains 
 Heelies or footwear with wheels
 Leggings/Jeggins without a dress, skirt, or shorts
 Oversized clothing that causes sagging pants, skirts, shorts, or skorts
 Trench coats 
 Pants, skirts, shorts, or skorts worn low on the hips so that 
undergarments or bare skin is exposed
 Revealing, immodest necklines three or more inches from the lower 
part of the collarbone (the width of a 3 x 5 inch index card)
 Sheer or transparent clothing
 Slits, splits, cuts, and holes in clothing shall not exceed 5 inches above 
the top of the knee
 Spiked jewelry, clothing, and accessories
 Strapless tops or any top with shoulder straps less than three inches 
(the width of a 3 x 5 inch index card) (Students in grades K-4 may 
wear tops with straps less than three inches, but may not wear 
spaghetti straps)
 Tops that are cut so short that bare skin in the midriff area is exposed 
 Tops with large arm holes such as tank tops, basketball jerseys, muscle 
shirts, mesh shirts, athletic undershirts, and cut out shirts (these types 
of shirts may be worn over a shirt with sleeves) 
 Wallet Chains that exceed six inches
 Note: Shoes must be worn at all times


I realize that some of these dress code restrictions are for safety and that is fine with me but I feel that a majority of these are targeting female students so that they feel it is THEIR fault that a male might have wandering eyes or mind. The fact is almost all teenage boys are going to think like little pervs about the girls in their class, nothing can stop that from happening. I could wear a parka to school and they still would have come up with something sexual to think about. All of these provisions are ridiculous in another sense, try finding shorts or skirts, tank-tops, or regular blouses for school  that don't break these rules. The fashion industry does not put out clothing for high school girls that match these specifications. To top it all off, if you have a school event where you have to wear a formal dress, try finding one that looks nice and doesn't break these rules.
Personally I think that these dress codes further objectify young girls. They make the public think about them in a sexual way because they are being told shorts or tops that don't match the code are explicit and sexual. They also make it hard for male teachers to NOT notice if a girl is wearing something shorter than the code says is appropriate. Girls in high school are not to blame for how men and society are looking at them. It's narrow minded people who come up with these rules. It's the people saying that if a girl has legs or boobs that they should be ashamed and cover up even if it's too hot to do so. Men in the classroom would probably even pay less attention to what high school girls are wearing if there weren't ridiculous clothing restrictions like this in place. To be honest they should have the freedom to wear whatever they want to as long as their parents let them walk out of the door in it.



Here is a link to the article that made me write this entry: http://hellogiggles.com/the-length-of-my-skirt-is-not-a-problem-stop-making-it-one

The Truth About How Feminists are Received

Just a disclaimer before we begin: I like feminism. The world needs feminism, but I believe that a lot of feminists are being received poorly due to radicalism and being hypocrites. I am in no way saying that this is the case with all feminists but I am pointing out why people don't view their views in a positive light and why a lot of women do not want to be associated with them.
A lot of feminists today will go around proclaiming the inequalities that women suffer and fighting for equal pay and treatment under the law. This is wonderful, but I've noticed that many times if a man suffers the same injustice they don't care or sometimes they even mock it. For example there are a lot of female comedians that make jokes about men that border on the sexist and hint at being serious. These jokes are received as funny and lighthearted, but when a male comedian does the same thing many feminists have a call to action to figuratively put his head on a pike and boycott his comedy.
This reaction also translates to more serious issues. Feminists organizations often take up a call to action when a woman says she was raped and a court won't file charges because she had alcohol in her system. This is something that should be done and be taken care of, but they do not do the same for men. If a man has the same issue occur they often times ignore it. Rape is rape and should be prosecuted as such. They should not act as if it doesn't happen to men. The fact is a lot of men are raped after drugs or alcohol have been in their system and can't take the issue to court because those are found in their system, but feminists often do not take this seriously and perpetuate the stereotype that only women are endangered of being drugged or raped. In case you believe I am exaggerating here is a quote (and link) to an essay that talks specifically about the problems in how feminists define, treat and deal with rape vs. other forms of gender based violence and male victims.
"When I say rape is privileged in feminist discourse, I don’t mean that it benefits anybody. I believe that by focusing on the centrality of rape in our culture, feminists are actually making it more difficult for all of us to campaign against all forms of gendered violence in society.

Trying to work out why these feminists do this is difficult. My instinct is that holding onto special victim status has some pay-offs for feminists. They can continue to present gender politics as a binary opposition between men (potential rapists) and women (perpetual potential victims of rape). Basically, the concept of rape culture is misandrist, and it does not allow for the fact that women are sometimes perpetrators of sexual assault, and men are sometimes on the receiving end."

http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/feminisms-mythological-rape-culture/
In addition to this many feminists themselves will stereotype men as being misogynists out to undermine female progress. Some like to post about how men can't reason as well as women and how women are just in general better than men. Sarcastically posting that women rule and men suck is one thing but when feminist women get online and post stereotypical comments about men there is usually a serious undertone to it and it makes all feminists look bad. Another problem that many feminists encounter is that men think all feminists are trying to be superior to them because they see these comments online or in the media. They don't realize that it's only the more radical feminists doing things like this and it creates a huge problem with the perception of feminists.
I'm not trying to generalize all feminists, but I want to point out why they encounter so much resistance. The fact is, all feminists need to look at their actions and make sure they want men and women to be equal. Not to just put men down and feel superior to them. I want feminism to get back to its core goals and beliefs and get rid of the hypocritical, extreme parts of it. I know there are always radical people in all groups but I want to see the mass opinion on feminists change. I only bring this up because that is how the world views the feminist perspective today, because too many feminists behave this way. Just to demonstrate my point here is a meme about how many people view what feminists have to say about themselves and men.

Reality Life and Bad Parenting

I haven't posted for the last two days but that's because I decided to be a little lazy.

I've been sitting around today, without much to do and I've started watching really lame reality TV shows. I've always known that most of these are fairly idiotic and not worth the attention that they so often receive. These reality shows though, like Honey Boo-Boo, The Jersey Shore (and all of its spin-offs) and the Teen Mom series are perpetuating a lot of stereotypes and negative behavior. I'm not one of those fanatics that thinks TV shows are brainwashing America's youth but I do think that they aren't helping our society in any way. I've noticed each year that teachers are reporting more and more middle school students and high school freshman are causing major problems at school. I've heard more about violent fights, bullying, alcohol at school and I've seen much more "cyber-fighting" and drama on Facebook from adults and recent high school graduates. I think reality shows are part of the problem.
These shows can't force anyone to behave like the characters shown, but I do think they heavily influence the people actively watching them. I think part of the reason that so many preteens and young teens are getting in more and more trouble and becoming more and more sexualized is because of what adults are showing them is acceptable in the media. There are countless videos out there that show young girls fighting and yelling at each other in a startlingly similar way to what is depicted on  reality TV.
Part of the problem is the way parents have raised their children but I still think it links back to what society is showing as acceptable behavior. I'd like to see more meaningful shows on the air. I don't think we need a show to give us a moral compass but we need less stupid reality shows and better parenting to start fixing these incredibly immature teenagers. They are growing up in a way that will render them ignorant and they will never have the maturity to succeed in the adult world.